New Beginnings

"The Loss of a Prince"

2008-04-08T16:51:00.003-06:00

I have a link on my sidebar to Baby Ethan. I have followed his story along with "Princess Ashley". These two babies have One thing in common: They have spent most of their little lives inside hospital rooms. Through the past year, both of these babies (while having two totally different problems) have almost followed the same paths. When one was doing well the other would perk up. And when one was down, well, the other would have some kind of problem. Two very different hospitals, and they have never met. Ashley seems to be doing well, even with a few setbacks. Baby Ethan was diagnosed with Leukemia at 2 months old. Over the past year God performed a few miracles in Ethan's life allowing him to make it to his first birthday. Apparently over the past few months, things changed and I suppose God was ready for him to become his Angel in Heaven. He lost his battle with Leukemia and went to be with our Lord this past weekend. Although, this news is so terribly sad, He can now be "at HOME"! He will suffer no more pain. I am sick for his parents. I just do not believe I could ever be as strong as they 'seem' to be. If you have followed either of these babies, the one thing that has been consistent with the two of them, is their families' faith and strength in God, our Father. I am so inspired and amazed at their abilities to hold things together and find the Peace they need to carry on. I do not believe any of our children should suffer for any reason. I know HE has plans for each and every one of us, but it doesnt make it any easier for me to understand why they suffer here on earth. I so Pray for Ethan's family as they make their way back home and say goodbye to that little guy. I cannot imagine what pain they must be enduring at this point. Please, if you read this, check out both of these sites and just say Prayers on their behalf. I know there are so many others, and I would not want to leave any of them out, these are just two babies that I have felt very close too.

Princess Potty or Diapers? Which one will she choose?

2008-04-02T15:06:00.001-06:00

We are starting to work on Potty training with Little Missy and it is not going so well. My five year old was so easy, and I just knew this one would be even easier! NOT! Miss priss decided at the age of 2 ½ that she was going to wear panties, and she did not want them to get wet. “A Princess cannot walk around with wet clothes”! So I bought panties and we have had 2 accidents in 3 years.

Now, little miss has turned 2 (February) and her sitter sits her on the potty and lets her wear “pony panties” for about an hour. She has yet to go; but, she loves to wipe. AND LOVES TO FLUSH! I went out about 2 weeks ago and bought her a soft, pink, princess potty seat that goes on the big potty. We all made a HUGE deal over this. Miss Priss even said, “I can’t wait to use your potty, it is soooo pretty”… thinking this would get her stirred up because she doesn’t like sister doing anything that she can’t do! I told her “look at your big girl seat”. She looks over at it and then points to big sister and says “that sissy’s”. I said no baby that is your very own princess potty. She stares at it for a minute, then looks up at me and in a very “matter of fact” voice says “No, ME WUR BIPERS” (me wear diapers)!

So much for that potty seat!

Chiropractor --Part II

2008-03-29T08:05:00.002-06:00

We were very skeptical at this point. But we listened to the things he had to say about antibiotics and surgical procedures and it all made sense. "Let the body heal naturally, the way God intended for it too"! That was the statement he said over and over. Wow! What a concept! We went the first two weeks 3 times a week; then decreased it to two and then 1. We also went during her "FLU TYPE A & B" period, of which she felt a little better afterward. It has been a little over a month and her ears are very clear, NO coughing, and we have not used any inhalers or medicine for any respiratory episodes. She is free and clear. We took her back to the ENT so he could double check her. He did some sort of graph drawing of her ear, and a hearing test... Said she looks great and no surgery is needed at this point. My husband said he looked a bit shocked! I do not know if it was adjustments or time; but, whatever it was, it WORKED!!!! Thank you Jesus!

A CHIROPRACTOR? You have got to be Kidding...(Part 1)

2008-03-27T20:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I thought about things today and I suppose I can give this blog another try. I am just SO… not good with words, and never have too much to write about.

CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENTS? Who would have thought?! My 2 yr old has been suffering with allergy asthma, chronic ear infections (w/ruptured drums a time or two), and acid reflux. We went for several months with little to no sleep, because she was either coughing profusely or waking up crying from pain or stuffy nose. She was taking singulair, 2 different inhalers, zyrtec and whatever else we could poke down her to help her to sleep and feel better. Something had to give. We finally got a referral to the ENT (ear, nose, & throat) doctor. He is a wonderful man. He has treated me and my mom and we just love him. On the date of her visit, I was told to give her “yet another” round of antibiotics and they would schedule her for tubes and adenoid removal. Both ears were full, and fluid was filling her little eyes from her adenoids. WHAT? I cannot go through anymore hospitals with this child. Even though, I know this is such a minor surgery, I just could not see her in another hospital. I would relive her infant stages. So, I left that office determined to find an alternative to a surgery that was: ONE: Expensive, TWO: a temporary fix, and THREE: in a HOSPITAL! I had heard rumors about chiropractic adjustments for all of the symptoms she has had; but, honestly, thought those people have lost their minds! NOWAY WAS ANYONE MESSING WITH MY BABY’S SPINE! But, I researched this on the web, through medical doctors, and through friends; decided, well it couldn’t hurt. We might be out $40 here and there with no surgery, so what the heck? We made our appt……..

What is Christmas About? (Sorry for the length)

2007-12-20T13:07:00.000-06:00

I have been having trouble thinking of something to write about. I think I have acquired that dreaded "Attention Deficit Disorder" at an older age. Anyway, I received a Christmas card today, as I do every year, from this sweet family member, and it made me start to think. What a Great Journal to post and challenge everyone out there who reads to think in these terms!! Every year she sends a picture of her daughter and then writes a "Christmas letter" about her family and what she is thankful for throughout that year. This year's letter was focused on a Bible verse:

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace and confidence. n the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer! for I have overcome the world." John 16:33. This year for HER, Christmas was about finding God's Peace. It was strange that I received this letter today because I had a rough morning. Things going on at work, then leaving and being late for miss Priss' program at school, to forgetting the camera, and bringing the juice "after" the party instead of FOR the party.... ! I have noticed lately that my Memory is just fading away. I think I would even forget to put on my shirt if I didnt feel the cold air on my skin. It is very scarey for me because I feel inadequate as a mother when I forget those important things. I get so frustrated because I dont have time to sit and play with my children... there is Always something that must be done. I feel like Martha--busy, busy, busy!! She writes in her letter that none of our earthly things will matter when we meet Jesus. No amount of money, what we have done, or what presents we buy at Christmas will Matter. The only thing that will matter is if we brought Glory to HIM while doing it all. I realized that I do not do this as often as I should. I have not stopped and taken the time to "Be Still" and just feel His Presence around me.

Perhaps that is the reason my mind is not focused on things like it should be. Perhaps it is "Spiritual" rather than "medical"! I do not know the answers!

You may have noticed I have a list of songs that play when you enter this site: At first, I added that because I loved those songs and well, I thought it was neat. But today as I sit and type, with Miss Priss in my lap, and listen to some of the words (not ALL of them), they each have a different meaning. (A couple of them, just because I like the beat!) "Life aint always beautiful"! The title of this song says everything.... but in the song it says ....

But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time

No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

I think this year Christmas for me will be about being thankful for my husband, and my girls! And like my cousin, "look for the Peace from God and focus my attention on him"! I challenge you to "really" look at life and see what Christmas is about "for you"? Not just the fact that yes, Jesus was born and yes He is our Savior! BUT, what He has done for YOU and how you can Glorify HIm through "those" things! How will You carry out that "special" plan He created for YOU?

Wordless Wednesday

2007-12-19T07:22:00.000-06:00

Miss Priss!!

Heart of Mercy

2007-12-16T13:57:00.000-06:00

Every little girl has a childhood crush on that “famous” pop star, movie star, or singer. Well, when I was a little girl my crush was quite strange. Of all the good looking men on this planet, for some reason I chose “John Denver”. When I say Crush, I use that term LIGHTLY, because it was total INFATUATION! I told everyone several stories about him. One being he was my brother, and the other was we were going to get married when I grew up and live in a huge house in the sky! HMMMM could that be in HEAVEN? There has to be some truth to that particular story!!! I went to all of his concerts; I owned every kind of shirt, poster, calendar, and pencil, whatever he had with his picture on it. EVEN 8-Track—and yes RECORD albums!!! Does this show my age or what? I knew every song by heart and could belt out a sound to his “Leaving on a jet plane” that you have never heard. “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” was my all time favorite and I knew EVERY SINGLE WORD! My sister had her own telephone line in her room at my grandparent’s house and she would call our phone and pretend to be him. I think I always “really” knew, but hoped there was that ONE chance it could be him! I do not know how all of this got started, but it was a FACT!

I haven’t thought about him much since his plane crash. And you don’t really hear his music anymore. But One day I was directed to a site of a rather, beautiful person, Ages And Stages. When her site came up, I heard this familiar voice singing. An instant feeling of Peace came over me! I had a sudden glimpse from the past. It was John Denver!!! His beautiful voice just brought me to tears.
The other night I found his music for my site and as the music from “Thank God…” came on, both of my girls came running into my office. They started dancing, and singing. Before I knew it, we were all three dancing like crazy people! We were laughing and having so much FUN! Miss Priss started asking me questions about him and when I told her that he was now living with Jesus, she burst into tears. It was horrible! She cried for a solid 30 minutes. I felt awful! I just told her someday, we would ALL sing beautiful music with him in Heaven! What a great life to look forward to !! I guess she was gifted with that "heart of Mercy"!

Wordless Wednesday

2007-12-12T06:58:00.000-06:00

She LOVES her DADDY!!!!

Christmas MeMe

2007-12-10T19:44:00.000-06:00

I found this meme on Jesse's For the Love of Peas and Monkeys

Leave me a comment if you want to do it so I can visit and read your answers!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags are much easier..but paper for the kids!
2. Real Tree or artificial? It has to be artificial... real ones make me sick!
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually Thanksgiving weekend.
4. When do you take it down? Right after Christmas--too many toys!
5. Do you like eggnog? No
6. Favorite gift received as a child? My evil Kinevil 3 wheel motor bike..yes I know I am a girl--but I was fearless (now scared of everything)
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? No
8. Who is the hardest person to buy for? We do not buy for anyone but kids
9. Easiest person to buy for? my children
10.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? An Alarm clock from
11.Mail or email Christmas cards? Email if I send them
12.When do you start shopping for Christmas? First of November
13.Have you ever recycled a Christmas gift? Yes , an alarm clock
14.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My Momma's fudge
15.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear
16.Favorite Christmas song? I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
17.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.. family is around the corner
18.Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Rudolph, Donder, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid,Dasher, Dancer, Prancer-is that it?
19.Angel or Star on top of the tree? Neither... Bow
20.Open the presents Christmas eve or Christmas morning? Both
21.Most annoying thing about this time of year? TRAFFIC and RUDE PEOPLE that are scrooges
22.What is the corniest family tradition you do or miss doing? I dont have one
23.What is the worst thing you’ve seen related to Christmas? Naked Santa Claus--YUK
24.Which looks best, themed trees or homey trees? Themed -Gingerbread of course
25.Gingerbread or sugar cookies? Any Dessert
26.Do you like fruit cake? YUK!!!

HUSH Mommy!

2007-12-10T18:42:00.000-06:00

I know we all have those moments where we are shopping with our children and they say something, or do something that everyone can hear. Luckily, in my case it wasn't passing gas, or pitching fits. Little Miss and I dropped Miss Priss off at her cousins on Saturday, so we could go finish up some last minute Christmas shopping. She is only 22 months, so buying her gifts while she was there, well, not a big deal because she forgets they are in the buggy after a minute or so. We stop at one Wal-mart, only to discover they only have one item on our list in stock (a specific toy, of course)! This, I was not very happy about. So after a few more stops along the way, we stopped at the Wal-mart closed to our house. We walked in and went straight for the bikes! I mentioned to the young man working in that department that I had seen a bicycle with the word "Princess" on it last week; and politely asked if they were out of stock. He said to me "Maam, I am the only one in this department and we have NEVER had a bike like that before". So I politely said, Yeah, I saw it on Wednesday, it looks similar to "this one" so maybe you just don't remember. Then I asked... "do you mind looking in the back and seeing if you have maybe one more". He then commences to tell me "maam, I am not telling you you're wrong, but we have not had any other bikes in here, I would know"! Instead of just going to look, he stood there and argued with me! I wish Wal-mart could pay more money to get better help! Anyway, as we were walking to the grocery aisle, I was just a complaining, out loud, no less. I am sure I was looking much like an idiot at this point, talking to a baby who clearly did not understand anything I was saying... so she reaches up and puts both hands on my face and says in quite a loud tone "MOMMY, MOMMY, HUSH PEASE!" This little lady was beside us and started to cackle, saying to me "my my, how quick we learn"! I was not about to get on to her.. I almost wet my pants from laughing so hard.. and yet I did deserve that! After that, everytime I tried to speak, she would shake her head "no,no and say hush"! She even started to point her finger. I know she was being a tad sassy, but she is just too cute to punish! Besides, I needed that little shove to close my mouth, because I was getting madder by the second, at this KID who had ZERO CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS! I am sure that lady had a great conversation piece about how children are just out of hand today, and how If that were her kid she would have taken care of that sassy mouth quickly! Oh well, so my child will grow up telling people to "HUSH"--it could have been much WORSE!!

My Child's Bathroom Habits

2007-12-07T08:03:00.000-06:00

I realize that bathroom habits tend to be (or SHOULD be) Private. And Miss Priss is definitely PRIVATE when it comes to using the bathroom. BUt I have to get this down because it is just so comical and I do not want to forget about this. The other night I was giving the girls their bath when Miss Priss decides she has to GO! She always yells to me "Mommy I have to go poop", even though she is COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT in the bathroom! I do not know why she feels the need to tell me, but, she does, so I suppose that is ok. So I get her out of the tub, all the while, she is telling me " just dry my legs off, because I am getting back into the bath when I am done, Ok mommy?, ok mommy? OK MOMMY?" "Yes maam, but the water is cold now and getting colder, why do you want back in?" Anyway, I dry her off and help her up, she then commences to say "mommy please leave now and take HER with you, I need to be by myself". Well, little miss is not finished with her bath, but she was mad at me for washing her hair and screaming anyway, so I said what the heck. I got her out kicking and screaming. Miss Priss was steadily yelling at me to "Get out mommy". Ok, who is in control here? Obviously, not me! I was holding back the laughter, then the phone rings. So I am trying to rush out of the bathroom, with this screaming baby and trying to answer the phone..... I get her down to put on her diaper and I hear "mommy, I need a drink of water please"!!! WHAT???? She is screaming this over and over! Thank goodness the call was my mom, who was hysterically laughing because things were just way out of control. I got the diaper on, and went back to the bathroom to find her still on the toilet. She started explaining to me that she needed a drink of water to help her poop some more????? UMMMM, where did she learn this trick? Definitely not from me... However, I filled her little cup and handed to her. She hollars once again... get out mommy!! I go back to the screaming child who is still extremely mad at this point, get her settled down and here comes Miss Priss.... "im done, the water did the trick.. now can you help me back into the bath?"

I truly love this child and do not know where she comes up with some of these things! Normally I would have gone crazy and been totally frustrated, but this time it was just too comical.

Another Contest

2007-12-06T07:06:00.000-06:00

Hey 5MFM is having another contest giving a way cool prizes from http://www.parents.com

These make great Christmas Gifts!

Baby Talk

2007-12-05T07:15:00.000-06:00

I have changed my schedule at work to save quite a bit of daycare expense and now I get to spend a little time in the afternoon with my two favorite girls. Yesterday, I noticed my little one's vocabulary has really grown over the last few weeks. It is amazing how those things just show up one day. I dont remember too many of my oldest ones little words so i wanted to get these down so I wont forget. I am terrible about stopping to write down the things they say and it is odd how quick they leave your mind.

Here are few of the things I want to remember:

"bibics"- Fish Sticks
"bups" - chip
"ban" - bed
"mammy"-Ms. Tammy
"Bim" - Jim
"dootie" - cookie
"donus" - donuts
"Keem" - shaving cream
"im im" - Ice Cream
"wabus" - I love you
And of course everything she says has "hrs" in front of it!!

And then, we have my grown up four year old. This little girl thinks she is a teenager. As we were getting ready for our Bible Small Group Sunday night, she tells my husband this:
"Daddy, dont tell mom, but I want to wear "this" outfit because the boys will think I look HOT"! HELLO... that will be the end of Hannah Montana! Thank goodness Little missy is now old enough to request a movie and she asks for Barney 400 times a day! Miss Priss wants to keep her from screaming so she allows Barney to be played over and over! Now maybe we can reshape her little mind! Of course Jeff had to explain to her that we dont talk like that and since she didnt realize what "hot" really means, her little eyes filled with tears. We had to tell her that boys are yucky and we dont care what they think. AND SO IT BEGANS!!!!

All New......

2007-12-04T15:36:00.000-06:00

Ok. So I have decided to post a little again. Now that I have a myspace account and I am learning all the tricks of creativity on the computer.... Anyway, this is a little loud and I will probably be changing it often, but it makes me feel good to see such a YUMMY background. "Like my butt isnt big enough already"! I dont post much because.. well .. I am not the journalist... I just type and ramble on. I have lost some of my visiting friends, for some reason, I hope I didnt say anything that offended anyone. I guess things like that just hits me "personally"! It really shouldnt, they dont know me, and I dont know them. But that is really ok, because this site is about ME, it is MINE and I made it for that reason. So I will ramble and if they want to read they can, and if not, then that is ok too! I do not have the time in my life to visit everyone either and life goes on. Enjoy your ice cream and have a great day.

Just Rambling!

2007-10-28T08:31:00.000-06:00

I have not posted in a long time because, frankly, I have just been in a bad MOOD!! AFter losing 2 grandfathers in one month, having your bank accounts wiped clean by some "idiot" who thinks he can have anything he wants for FREE, and then having a small bout of struggles at home...... WELL, I guess I deserve to be in a bad mood. One of my grandfathers was "Completely alzheimers" and didnt know he was in the world,and malnurished because he refused to eat so He is definitely better off with God. The other one, well, he was sick and struggling at times, but I miss him like crazy. Life isnt the same anymore. My family believes my grandmother will become her "old" young, shopping, full of life self again. I cant make them understand, She is 82 and it just isnt going to happen that way. She lost the man who she has loved, hated, slept with, drank coffee with, shopped with, and followed Jesus with for 59 years! How do you get through that. She is angry and sad. Not to mention has a severe case of dementia. Everyone means well and they want what is best for her, but sometimes I wish they could just leave her alone and let her be. They had to get rid of her dog, which added to the depression. It needed to happen because he hikes his leg all over the house. YUK! But she loved that little fart! He was her connection to her husband. It is just sad when your spouse leaves you behind and they get to live the good life in Heaven! I hurt for her and for me!

My little 'miss priss' is set to go to the Hannah Montana concert in three weeks! How exciting. Except she is riding with my sister and my husband and I have decided not to go. We sold our two tickets to a friend. I am scared for her. I want her to go because I know she will have a blast with her favorite cousin.....but, it is over an hour drive, all interstate, in a huge building with 10,000 little girls! (talk about a pedafile hangout)!! I have to trust that God will get them there, allow them to enjoy themselves, and then bring them home safely! I have to let go!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2007-09-20T09:26:00.000-06:00

If you visit my site today please remember to pray for little Ashley. She is critically ill and is on her way to Omaha, NE to the hospital where she had her transplant last year. Please say Prayers on her behalf.

Bug in My Salad....YUK!

2007-09-14T21:11:00.000-06:00

Miss Priss had a soccer scrimmage today, against boys! She did so good! She stopped the ball from going into the goal once, and she stole the ball twice. Needless to say, I was utterly impressed. Of course, one little boy did fall on her and she will not ever forget that!
I decided to take her out to eat with her favorite cousin. We have eaten at Cheddars, Roadhouse, and the infamous mexican place in town, four million times. Tonight we chose Olive Garden, as Pasta is my favorite food. When it was time for our salad, we were all so hungry we started to fight over who was going to get it first. We were visiting and having a great conversation, and as I neared the end of my bowl of salad, I noticed a black spot on the "last" piece of lettuce. I really thought I was looking at spices, or part of the olive; however, as I got closer, I noticed a tiny leg sticking out to the side. I was mortified! How many of those had I already eaten????? It was a tiny fly of some sort, but still, ooooo gross, it was a bug! I quietly placed it onto a clean plate and very softly told the waiter, "this was in my salad". NOOOO the waiter didnt apologize, he just smiled and said "would you like more salad?". I could not believe what I was hearing. I remained quiet; because, well, he was training someone, and I didnt want him to feel stupid. I thought to myself, I will wait and see if a manager comes over. NOTHING.... Dessert came and went, ticket came and went, $27.50 (for me and a four year old) later, I found myself paying the bill and leaving a $1.00 tip. I felt bad at this point; but, I just could not let this lie. My sister said leave well enough alone, but, I just couldn't. He really should have handled that a little better. Not a full free meal (althought that would have been nice), but, even a simple "Im so embarrassed, let me take that and get my manager", would have worked in my book! I decided to leave a note on the back of my credit card ticket and then as we were walking out, I nudged the hostess and whispered in her ear, that they may want to train him on how to handle those situations. She in turn grabbed her manager and begged me to tell him what happened. I told him, it was really no big deal, and I didnt want the whole place to know, so I kept quiet! We walked out of there with a $20 gift card and a very big "APOLOGY" from the manager.
Now, Am I concerned about going back? OF course!! After all, fruit flies only hang around "rotted fruit". This really concerns me! Maybe after time, I will have forgotten and will get the urge to give them another try.
I feel guilty for not letting it drop, but it just really ate at me through the whole meal! Bugs happen, but it is all in how you handle it that makes the difference!

HIS Timing is Always Perfect

2007-09-09T07:43:00.000-06:00

I just realized I have not posted anything in 10 days. I have had a very busy week. It is strange how this week was so obviously God's Plan in our lives.

About 3 weeks ago, when I was trying to finish up all of my classes, I discovered that I had received incorrect information from the School about deadlines on when to turn everything in. Because of this, my degree will not be "conferred" until December 15th. Even though, I am finished taking classes and there is nothing left to apply. When I heard this news, I was FURIOUS! This means I cannot be hirable to a school district until December, so once again I am waiting. I could do nothing buy cry. My aunt told me something that made things a little out of sorts for me at the time; however, now it makes perfect sense. I was complaining about how it was pointless for me to have taken all three classes at one time. I was angry that I had pushed myself until I was sick, ignored my family and my house, so I could finish by August. She then said to me "There must be some reason, maybe you will have things happening in your life that will not allow you to be in school, just think, now you are finished and you wont have to worry about it". After that statement, the my mind went to turning....."okay, what is going to happen?" I was just waiting for the big "bomb" to go off!
And, then Sunday September 2, 2007--that bomb exploded!!! I lost a very important person in my life. My grandfather went home to Heaven. I got the call at 7 am and my dad did not even have to speak! I knew it. He has been sick for a very long time with diabetes, heart and lung problems, but this was just too sudden. He woke up around 5:00 not feeling well, went to the bathroom, and collapsed on the floor in his room. We buried him on Tuesday afternoon. He was my "rock" and I will miss that man until my last day on earth! I know he is better and his sickness has disappeared, but that does not make it easier for me. Jesus is lucky to have him, even though, he was a stubborn 'old coot'!
Sunday night when we came home from the visitation, my husband realized he was missing his cell phone and wallet. After searching for abour 30 minutes, he noticed his "charger" was missing out of his car, it would have been out of character for him to have taken it out. He also noticed his car was unlocked........Needless to say, our bank accounts were wiped clean. Apparently, there had been 6 cars hit in our area Saturday evening and ours just happened to be one of them. We should receive the money back; but, it will take about 2 weeks to finalize. Some other events have happened over the last few days and a detective friend of my husbands, called to tell us they know who these people are and have been tracking them for months. They are linked to over 60 burglaries in this area.
On top of all of that, school has started for Miss Priss, gymnastics and soccer have now started and my first workshop for my teaching certification was this week.
My aunt was right, God planned this week, and he knew I had no extra time to spare, or extra stress levels to give for worrying with some class or homework!
Thank you God for these beautiful life Blessings you have brought into my life. Please surround my family with your peace and comfort. In Jesus Name..AMEN

Tears and FUN!

2007-08-27T12:33:00.000-06:00

I have a few minutes this morning to post in my journal and read some other blogs. I thought I would post on my busy weekend. Hubby made it home safely and Miss Priss was so very excited. He called to tell her he was on his way and told her he had a surprise for her. She talked about that surprise all night long. She was asleep when he arrived so, of course, we did not wake up the "Princess". She woke up early Saturday morning and the very first thing she said was "Daddy, I am ready for my surprise"! He then had to explain to a sobbing little four year old, how he had left the sack of prizes on the shuttle at the airport by accident. Huge tears streamed down her little face. Daddy cannot handle those tears so he promised her a day at Chuck E Cheese and a new toy from Toys R Us! I guess when she is 16, we will have a new car in the driveway for those big tears :)! He is such a pushover! Although, I must admit, I was sad for her as well! WE spent the morning playing games and having pizza, then shopping at Toys R Us for, well, 1 1/2 hours! Too many Toys to choose from! We came home with 2, pocket size, stuffed dogs each for around $8- She was very excited to get them and that is all that mattered to her! Daddy also left a shirt that he had bought for me, a very unique Green Bay Packers T-shirt, because I love Brett Favre so much! But, my tears didnt work. I settled for a few hours of shopping time alone for the girls some new fall clothes!
AND- my four year old has managed to convince everyone she talks to that I have taught her to talk to the "Devil". When we went to Church yesterday, she told some people how bad the devil is and you should always yell at him to leave you alone, or he will get inside of your head! "Pretty smart"! That was my weekend, now to the start of a busy week filling out applications for teaching positions!

Slightly Above Average.......

2007-08-24T15:29:00.000-06:00

I was able to pull my "unofficial scores" today ! The passing score is 240.... I came out with a big, whoppin' 243! Some might say that I will be slightly above average... I will take that as a compiment! :)

My Four Year Old's Little Mind is Going in Circles

2007-08-23T12:03:00.000-06:00

I had an eventful evening last night. I signed miss Priss up for gymnastics at a new place and she is so excited, then we went to eat with my sister and her little girl (Her idol of course), On the way Home, miss priss started getting teary eyed and telling me she missed her daddy (he was out of town for work). We arrived home got our baths and ready for bed and she started sobbing. I let her call daddy and he calmed her down a little. Then after they hung up, she started to cry harder. I heard her mumbling and I asked her what she was saying. She said "I am praying to God and asking him to PLEASE bring my daddy home safe." I explained to her that it was a good thing she was praying, and God will take care of it. She said "mommy, you don't understand, my daddy can't come home, he is going to die in a car wreck in traffic in the morning". OF course, I just about lost it. I asked her what she meant and she explained to me that she had a dream a long time ago, and then said "I will never get to say goodnight to my daddy again". First I held back the tears and said a PRayer asking for God to give us Peace and keep our daddy safe. Then I explained to her that We must believe that God will keep him safe and bring him home. I also told her we belong to God, and whatever happens he will take care of us. I told her that if anything ever happened to me or daddy, God would make sure we are all taken care of. I told her to try to think happy thoughts, and then I explained to her how the devil likes it when we are sad. I also told her to tell that nasty devil to go away and leave her alone. She did that and after a few minutes calmed down and went to sleep. I prayed over her beautiful little face and asked God to give her peace and a life with no worries. I know she senses my anxiety, but I just cannot believe a four year old could worry so much. I am so worried about her and I hope she will not live with the same fears that I do. I pray for God to take her thoughts and give her peace. My heart hurts for her and I cannot wait until her daddy returns home to us.

This is neat

2007-08-18T11:55:00.000-06:00

You are most like: You are Brown
Earthy and humble, you are often mistaken for being plain, when you are actually quite interesting. Your gentle spirit causes you to be very attractive to others who are searchng for genuine friends.
Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like:

You are Brown

Earthy and humble, you are often mistaken for being plain, when you are actually quite interesting. Your gentle spirit causes you to be very attractive to others who are searchng for genuine friends.

Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?

Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

Finding Things to Do

2007-08-18T11:04:00.000-06:00

For the first time in 5 years I have a weekend FREE of school STRESS! I don't even know what to do with myself. My house is a "COMPLETE DISASTER"; because of course I haven't had time to clean in almost a year. (one time by a Maid). Now I do not even know where to start. It is amazing how I have been so distracted and all of the sudden I am "Lost". My mom told me the other day while she was babysitting my four year old Priss that she was showing her how to pick up one set of toys before pulling out anymore, she said to her "this will help mommy keep the house clean", so Miss priss pops up with hands on her hips and says "Gran, my mommy DOES NOT clean". I could have died. She is exactly right, I have to give her credit. Aside from the occasional laundry and dishes in the dishwasher, we have had utter chaos. It is no wonder my kids are wild at home. So this morning, I got up started some laundry and guess what, I decided to PLAY with my girls. We played a few hours and then my MIL called and wanted them to come over and see her a few hours. Miss Priss says "mommy, while we are gone, "you can clean". Thanks for that little sass! But you know what, I a decided to watch Paula Dean, Rachel Ray, and Ingrid do some cooking, I printed off some recipes... and now I am going to visit my friends on the computer that I have missed so much. I can clean wednesday on my day off! I think that is fair. My husband is calling a game today and I have the house to myself. My plan is to find a good Bible study, spend time with my girls, and I have even decided to cook some "real" home cooked meals. (If I have time after work of course). I even told my husband I am ready to go to Culinary School. I have my eye on some new things for my kitchen and I am ready to get cooking.
I will be working part time for my current employer, and substitute teaching for 2 days a week. After the holidays, If I dont get that job full time, I will move it up to 3 days a week. I am so excited and ready to have my OWN classroom. But most of all, Glad to be finished with homework. "Now I can call myself "PROFESSIONAL"! (LOL) :)

Finally

2007-08-14T12:17:00.000-06:00

Ok I am officially finished. I am just waiting on scores from the teacher test and grades from my last class. YAY I am so relieved. It will be so strange not to have any tests, or any papers to write. My goal now is to read some Bible Studies and visit all of you in Blog world in the next few days. I am so excited that I finally have a life. :) Now it is time for the REAL adventures to begin.

Missing REAL Life.

2007-07-27T14:22:00.000-06:00

I am having withdrawals from this blog life. I had to take a moment and say YAY ME--I am done with Chemistry. FINALLY-I thought it would never end. I do not have grades until next week. But the important thing is I only have 2 more weeks to go and I can play with my children every single night. I never heard from that school, they never even returned my phone call. SO I am making the assumption that God does not want me at that school. I have not filled out anymore applications until I pass my test. I am Praying to pass that exam next Saturday then I will start Praying for the "JOB"! I cant wait to read everyones journal and get caught up. I miss you guys! I will see you all on August 6th.!

STILL WAITING....

2007-06-28T09:06:00.000-06:00

I have a minute to post and wanted to share some GREAT news.... NO , I am not a teacher yet... they have not called. I feel like they are waiting for someone certified to walk through the door. Hopefully they will wait until Aug 5th and still have the opening. Then there shouldnt be any questions! :)

What I wanted to share was my neice (10 years old) has decided to give her heart to JESUS--everyone say AMEN!!!! She will be baptized to profess her FAith probably next weekend. I am so excited for her. I just had to share the news. Everyone have a wonderful week.

Waiting.......

2007-06-17T18:54:00.000-06:00

Well, I managed to make it through the interview. Sorry it has taken a while to post when I asked for some advice.. but i have been swamped with tests this week.

The day of the interview, I was so nervous. I was sick at my stomach. So I posted in my journal and asked for some advice. I got advice from a couple of people who I admire very much. One of whom, I have never met. (Thanks Nikki) Anyway, a friend of mine said something that made alot of sense to me. Why read the devotional and think of it like you are asking for something you should be asking for; but, read it and think "hmmm God you are trying to tell me YOU are with me and YOU are in control.". She said "GOD wants you to know HE is there and if you look to him for guidance, then this interview will be a breeze". So that is just what I did. I got down on my knees after I went home to get ready and I prayed for God to give me the correct words. Well, after that I had such a Peace about the whole thing. Now-I am not saying I wasnt nervous: after all, I was interviewing in front of 5 people who were shooting questions at me one after another. I answered the best I could with as much honesty as I could allow without them knowing I was totally scared. But at least they thought I had all of the confidence in the world.

The funny think is, they had 3 interviews scheduled for that day (me, included) and the first 2 cancelled. I said "should I be worried?" The principal says, well, that doesnt happen"! So, is this a God intervention or what? But, they said they were required to interview 3 people, so they were going to dig up two more and let me know this week. My thoughts are "I dont see them hiring a first year, no experience, teacher for a Math position at a school were there scores are low in the math section of the test." Not that I am being negative. If I were a principal, I would be a little fearful of that. But I am just excited God got me through that experience and I am ready for whatever else anyone throws at me! Thanks for all of your Prayers. Keep them up--I need a positive result! If I dont get this, I want another chance! have a great week and I will post a quick note when I hear -I promise!

What is HIS will for me?

2007-06-12T08:24:00.000-06:00

YES--Can you believe I am posting? I had a sudden thought that I am struggling with today and I am getting it down... Then I will be on a blog break until August 6th (After I finish classes and take my certification tests).

I go for an interview today at a local school and I am excited, nervous, scared, and sick at my stomack!!!! This is only my first interview... I havent applied for anymore because I am not completely hirable yet. They got my name from another school district, I didnt even apply there. I dont know my teaching philosophy, or my discipline techniques. I have never been in a classroom before! What I want to happen and what really will may be totally different. Each situation is very different.

This morning when I got to work I read my devotional email from Pastor Greg Laurie. WEll here is what it said:
If you are seeking fulfillment or purpose or meaning from this world, I have some bad news: you will never find it. There is nothing in the world that will fill the deepest void in your life—not the ultimate car, not the greatest job, not the most beautiful girl or the most handsome guy, not the greatest education. There is nothing that can even come close. Think about it: Everything else in life is secondary to knowing and loving God—your career, your family, and even your ministry. Those things are all important. But the first and foremost purpose you have in life is to know the God who made you.

Would you believe? Now, in no way do I think a teaching position will fullfill my life. But in some way I think I will be happier. I am smart enough to know that GOD is the only way to TRUE happiness. So my question today is "What is this devotional trying to tell me?" Am I Letting GOd direct me to this teaching career or am I searching for something outside of HIS will?

Not enough Time for Anything

2007-05-27T08:05:00.000-06:00

When I created this blog I wanted to use it as a journal, like a daily diary, for letters to my family, and for Bible Study purposes. But it hasnt gone in that direction for me! It seems like everything was fine and my life just turned into a train wreck! I know the Devil has interrupted because I cant find the time for my Bible reading so I am convicted for that. I need God to turn things around, but where do I find the time to ask? I have prayed so often for him to reveal himself and tell me what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life, and maybe I am just too busy to see him and hear his answer! I needed to use this few minutes i have to spill my brain and also say thanks to those of you who do read (or try to read my journal) I am missing all of you and I am happy for the time I have at this moment to check in on everyone! Here are my complaints for today:

1. My grandmother fell and broke her hip, she is home from the hospital because my grandfather signed her out AMA (against medical advice). Why? Because he is a lunatic and thinks he knows more than the doctors. Now for the next several weeks my family gets to see the most precious person in the world slowly disappear. He will not give her the meds she needs for, what little part of her mind she has left, to stay here with us! I miss her so terribly and the talks we used to have! Is is bad to Pray for God to take her and take care of her? Because that is where she will be the happiest!

2. I have 8 weeks left to finish all three classes and try to work at the same time. I am about to start Chemistry, I am halfway through Pyschology, and I have to prepare a 5 page portfolio for the school to obtain 3 credits for Leadership Longview. Can I do this? I just so want to slow down and just say to heck with the teaching career for this year! I am tired and worn down.

3. The most important complaint and worry on my mind right now is that my four year old spilled some candy powder on our carpet last week and I turned to her and said "That is why we dont eat in the living room"! I didnt yell, just had a stern sound like I was aggravated...(which of course I am, I am stressed) she looked at me with the most sincere heart and tears rolling down her cheeks and said "can you forgive me for doing this?" I lost it ! Then today she asked if I could forgive her for getting the tiniest speck of dirt on her pants--she was scared and worried about me being mad. What Have I Become? The mother I swore I would never be--Too stressed to pay attention and love my children! I get so impatient and I lose my temper so easily and I take it out on my children. Now my daughter thinks I dont love her because she got her pants dirty!

4. And of course all of the other parts of life that we moms worry about is rolling around in there too... Will someone break in and get my babies, will I live to see them grow up and get married? Will God continue to Bless me and keep them healthy? Will we go broke before I find my career and will my girls have to suffer because of things we have done?

There are books I need to read to ease my mind... there are Prayers I need to say to feel at Peace.. There are things that are beyond my control and I need to let go! What do you do? How do you do those things? I am lost at this point!
I will check in on everyone but I may have week long breaks between posts until something finally gives! Thanks for reading. (if you havent given up by now :) )

by the way--I have LOST 9 pounds! Working on the next 9!

Week 1 is Over and I am Tired of Tuna!!

2007-05-15T11:04:00.000-06:00

Well-I cant say for sure if I have lost the 2 lbs or more because--well, this week I have a severe case of PMS! I get the full nine yards of symptons, BLOATING (excess fluid) Pain, grumpy,...etc....etc...etc!! I feel quite sure I have lost those 2 lbs because I have cut down to 1 coke in the morning and WATER WATER WATER all day! Plus Tuna for lunch every day and then cereal for supper! My snacks consist of fat free or 100 calorie packs of snack mix. The bad thing is I am HUNGRY all of the time which is not normal for me! I may gain more weight on a diet than without it! I love this challenge--I will be started my walking program this week and I started my tanning (which for some reason makes a BIG difference)

My MOthers Day was a typical day doing laundry--but my girls did take me for some much craved "ice cream"! YEP the full fat Baskin Robbins MInt Chocolate chip and I was in love! That was my supper for Sunday night--but it was a special day!

Keep at it everyone and I will try to visit for some motivation tomorrow before I start in on homework!

Have a Wonderful Day--A thought to leave you with!

2007-05-12T19:35:00.000-06:00

I am so Blessed to be a mother to 2 beautiful little Princess'! I hope they forgive me one day for being so impatient and grouchy someday! But most of all I am Blessed to have the most beautiful, sweet-spirited mother of all! I know she doesnt read this but I truly am thankful for her and I thank God for giving me every moment!

I got this in an email on Friday and thought I would share it with everyone:

I had a poem here that I had received in an email; however, today I received a comment, apparently from the person who wrote it. Sally, I am unable to contact you, I had no idea you wrote this, I just thought it was beautiful and someone had forwarded the email in one of those "mass forwards"! It was perfect for a mothers Day poem. That poem is great for any mother to their children.

2007-05-11T08:11:00.000-06:00

What a great way to celebrate-winning!! To all of you beautiful mothers remember to pamper yourself--

2007-05-08T18:27:00.000-06:00

I’ve never been tagged for a meme except by email and I am one of those that my sister and friend always answers the "least likely to respond" ; Jesse has been so kind to tag me and since she is a new friend I will abide by the rules. Each player starts with seven facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog the rules and answers. Then choose seven people and make sure to leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged. this may propose a problem because I dont have 7 blogs to tag --i will do my best. Here you go Jesse this is for you:

1. I just graduated College at 34!

2. My husband says I am Mean! I say he is a pain in the rear! :)

3. I am a very nervous person and scared of my own shadow!

4. I love to coke and chocolate.

5. I have a hard time finishing projects I start (except for my scrapbook pages of course) so school and this blog have been my toughest challenge!

6. I have matching hair bows for my two little princess' for every outfit they own!

7. I married a man completely opposite from me-this is a definite challenge.

Thanks Jesse-this was kind of hard. Now I am tagging the following:

Tracy-The REal Estate Girl
Niki-Mayhem and Miracles
Kisses From Heaven

I cant think of anymore at the moment--I will have to get back with you on this one!

IT IS TIME!

2007-05-08T07:49:00.000-06:00

Ok the day is here and it is time for my "diet" to start--YUK! I dont even like that word. If you have come to my site and would like to learn more just click on the button on my sidebar--this ought to be interesting! My goal is to lose 40 lbs! Our Cruise time is in October and I need to be in that 2 piece with all of the other wives who will be going! This is great accountability for me but I dont know! I will start with Tuna, Tuna Tuna!!! Have a great day and if you are doing this --GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Beautiful Sound!

2007-05-07T19:38:00.000-06:00

I have not had time to post with Graduation and family get togethers but tonight I had to find at least 5 minutes to capture the moment I just had with my 15 month old little miss!

I was rocking her to sleep and singing "Jesus Loves Me". That song always seems to calm her down ! I sang it twice and then Twinkle Little Star then I stopped thinking she was just about asleep. Her eyes were closed and she was resting her head on my shoulder snuggled up with her "bankly". All of the sudden, I heard the most beautiful sound......"bebebemommeahhhh.....bebebemomme.....ahhhbebe" It was in perfect tone -she was singing herself to sleep! I stopped for that moment smelled her head and kissed her little lips then thanked God for that beautiful sweet princess! Even though when she is awake she is banging on stuff and screaming at the top of her lungs. God knew I needed that sweet voice to come out so I could calm down from a long day! Then as I walked into my bedroom to check on Miss Priss -she was screaming loudly at her daddy because she was ready to get out of the bath---well my moment was over but it was great while it lasted. I must say both of my children have great lungs like their mommy!

Graduation is finally over.. I have a couple of classes left to get the paper but it was a wonderful (hot) ceremony. and I must apologize.. just because I graduated from LeTourneau University ( otherwise known as the "smart people's school") my writing ability has not improved. I will keep reading blogs from some great women and hopefully learn some big words along the way! Going to bed.. Good night!

Prayers for Heather

2007-05-03T07:54:00.000-06:00

Please remember to keep HEather in your Prayers today as she undergoes her Brain Surgery. May God lead the hands of those physicians and lay his healing hand upon her.

Also keep little Ethan in your prayers, His family needs 2 million people tested in a short time in order for them to find a match for his bone marrow. Please visit his site as well and print out the letter for Oprah and send one in the mail on his behalf.

I have been Blessed!

2007-05-02T13:35:00.000-06:00

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

This is the scripture given today on the daily Bible Verses on my side bar. I just tried to read some passages online to see if one would stick out so I could use it in my journal! But nothing hit me, so I went to my blog page and there it is!!! This Saturday will mark the day I have been looking forward to for 4 years! It seems like yesterday when I told my husband that I wanted to get my degree! "I was tired of being a PEON, and I needed to get that paper just to prove to myself I could"! Through the past 4 years or so , I have gone to school EVERY Tues or Thursday from 6-10--done homework beyond belief, worked a full time job, and gave birth to 2 children! It has been a tremendous work load--but I am just about finished. I have sat here today and thought, I dont feel like I have done anything, I wanted a profession immediately , I dont want to WAIT! But then I realized how God walked me through this whole process. When I started school I had just been approached about a new job opening through a NEW company. I was working at a Pulmonary clinic doing Collections and billing, and my job was terribly stressful, not to mention I was 3 months pregnant! I accepted the position at the job and found it to be so flexible, I could come and go when I needed for doctor appointments and for school things. I even sat in my office and did homework, and have for the past 4 years. Now I just take a day during the week devoted to me, my child, and homework! Without this job opportunity I would not have made it through school. God also, Blessed me with a little girl who was so easy to take care of. She never cried, she could sit in a swing and watch Baby Einstein for an hour, she was on a perfect schedule, It gave me time to work on Homework if I needed at home. Oh and did I mention there just happen to be a program for working adults offered at the local PRIVATE Christian College, so I had to take two Bible courses, plus all of my professors were Christian and we Prayed and had devotion before we began class each night. God also gave me my husband. He is a very patient, passive person, (sometimes annoyingly passive :)) He went to the same college and new the workload I would be under. He was very understanding and helpful. He even took off work one day to help me with a 20 page paper that I must admit I wrote in ONE DAY! (Most of my homework was done ON THE DAY OF CLASS IN ONE DAY) (Sorry I have to pat myself on the back for that :) !) Anyway as you can see, everything just sort of went smoothly. Now I am graduating and will have a wonderful opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do--TEACH! I will be eligible for the career (provided I pass the test) I want, plus have time with my girls during holidays and summers! What an awesome Blessing it will be when everything is complete! I never thought I would see this day! It has been a long Hike, and I have 10 more credits to finish up then I will finally have that paper. What a Great Blessing and Accomplishment God has allowed me to have. Thank you God for my family and for this opportunity. If it is Your will please place me where I need to be in my life. In His name.... AMEN!

Thanks to ALL of you for the words of encouragement on my comments! You have all become my friends and my inspiration!

Job Searching

2007-05-01T15:23:00.000-06:00

Today, I will be attending the job fair at a local school district! This will be my 2nd one in a week and I am absolutely a nervous wreck! I want to have a teaching position by August so bad I can taste it! I went to one on Saturday and was pretty much told "you need to have some experience"! But -that is not possible -I cant be a substitute because I have to have full time work! I am working with Junior Achievement this year, so that will help some! I am about to start teaching Sunday School, that will add a little more!

I know I am supposed to Pray God's will, and teaching may not be his plan for me--but I can only Hope it is! I have been so excited about this opportunity so I can have my career and be home when my babies are home!

Hopefully Back!

2007-04-30T08:10:00.000-06:00

I have been taking a break from this blogland. My life has just all of the sudden turned into total chaos! It seems as though every time I sit down at a computer -something else comes up and it takes me away! Our lesson in Sunday School yesterday was about David being in the cave. Essentially talking about how God is with us even when we are locked up in the cave, or in a storm, so to speak! It was good for me, because I have been in a cave lately! There is nothing major going on, just Graduation, trying to find a teaching job, homework, kids...etc..etc.! But I still feel hollow! I have just wanted to be a recluse in my house! I need to clean, I need to work in the yard, I need to get caught up on homework assignments, I have a chemistry class about to start, I am walking across the stage this saturday -and would you believe I just sent the invitations out this weekend? I have found myself forgetting to Pray, I have found myself not making time to read my Bible or any type of Bible study! This is so typical-get started into something and I get so overwhelmed I cant finish it! I do listen to the radio in the morning to hear "Adrian Rogers" sermons -he is so awesome! This blog life seemed to uplift my spirits so much when I had time to read everyones journals--and I loved having people come and comment---it makes a difference to know someone else is taking the time to find out about your life! When I sit down to Pray, I dont even know what to Pray! Their are babies of course that need Prayers, like Ethan, Ashley, and Kanyon! Their stories are amazing and inspiring--you can see God working miracles everyday! But I find myself focusing on them and not on myself! My family needs Prayers, maybe not to that level, but I need them! So why cant I see Blessings? Because I am "Martha"--"anxious about everything"! The Bible says "Be still and Know that I AM GOD"--so when I find time to Be still, I will take that deep breath and find Him! Anyway, it is good to be missed and I will be checking on my friends sometime today I hope, and throughout this week!

I am Back-Here is Where I have been!

2007-04-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

I have not been here or to read anyone else's blog in over a week! I have truly missed my computer. My life just went crazy. the week after Easter, we sold our "huge" corner desk that took up ALL of my dining area and bought a small computer armoire! So we had disconnected our computer for a few days! Then on Wednesday I started my vacation--well--time out of the office I should say! Wed morning I taught my JA class, then rushed over to gymnastics, then over to a friends to discuss our summer babysitting plans! I took my four year old out of Montessori school--(another whole post)! Thursday from 8-5 I was with my leadership class planting grass, building a swing set, a porch swing, a picnic table, putting together toys, building a privacy fence..etc...etc... I will be getting pictures so everyone can see what a great job it was! (Very rewarding), Then Friday morning I was running the roads visiting new schools and packing for my weekend scrapbook retreat in Canton, Texas! I had a hard time deciding whether or not to go because of the weather, but I went, and I am so glad God pushed me out the door! I had the best time and met some wonderful people! Of course, I only got 3 double page layouts done because I was not motivated and was visiting too much! the place was beautiful and peaceful and I just enjoyed the rest! When I came home on Sunday, it was full throttle..... cleaning the mess my "3" kids made (husband, and girls)! then up early on Monday and Tuesday for work-and now my grandfather is having heart problems-please Pray for my family this week! It will be a tough week! Hopefully I will be able to get back into the groove and post something inspiring! Well I am having furniture delivered today so i am pretty busy! And I have to get my College graduation invitations out today, since my ceremony is in 3 weeks! yes I procrastinated! Then with all of that I have homework and lots of it! Thanks for checking in with me--I feel missed and loved! I promise to start my regular posting as long as things dont get out of hand again!

OBEY YOUR PARENTS AND ADULTS!

2007-04-09T20:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I am late posting because Easter Sunday was so busy! Dying and hunting eggs! Saturday night, I had my 10 year old neice, my 4 yr old, and my cousins 3 yr old lined up in chairs in the kitchen. We were making our first batch of "Resurrection Cookies". They were all so excited because they were getting to make cookies; and all of them told each other how they were going to decorate their cookie! When I got everything laid out and then placed the Bible right in front, they all said "why is the Bible in here? It will get dirty"! I told them these are not ordinary cookies, these cookies tell the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus! We cant eat them until in the morning. Their faces were priceless, LARGE smiles went quickly to LARGE frowns! We got started and were reading the Bible verses given. I came to the part of the color white meaning our sins were washed white as snow.....
I asked them can any of you tell me what a sin is........the little ones spoke up to say very quick "yep, when you dont obey yor (your) paiwents (parents) and otha (other) adoolts (adults)! It was so very cute.
We got to the end and each one had their tape ready to seal the toomb (oven). All done, and here comes Ms. "into everything, busy body" and pulled off our tape! My four old started to cry (she is a drama queen like her mommy)! She said "mommy she opened up ouw (our) toomb"-I fixed (as we like to say in Texas) the problem and we went to bed. We got up the next morning and pulled them out of the oven.....they were not hollow, just crumbly! But we didnt make the mounds large enough! The girls still got the message and had fun! We celebrated Jesus and had a great weekend! HE IS ALIVE!!

Can you Only Imagine?

2007-04-07T10:09:00.000-06:00

I dont know if that is a great title for this post. I have all of these things in my mind to get out, but they are in no particular order. They are somewhat scattered. Last night when I left the office, I stopped by Hobby Lobby and Wal-mart to get things to fill Easter baskets. This is something I have never done before! Last year when Ms. Priss was 3, she really didnt know you were supposed to get something, so I bought a movie and let her dye Easter Eggs. This year she hears all of the talk about "the Easter bunny", and what he is going to bring to her. This makes me sad, because every holiday seems to be about 'what gifts the children are going to get'! Now, dont get me wrong, I love to buy for my girls and I LOVE TO GET things myself! But as I was shopping through the ridiculous crowd last night and being bumped into, the thought of Easter being as bad as Christmas time just made my angry! This year I want to make Resurrection Cookies, I found this idea on Sweet Erna from Sweet Serenity's blogsite. I dont know her of course, she lives somewhere in Canada but she helped me with my set up of this blog and she has such a beautiful sweet spirit. Anyway, she does cute crafty things with her kids to teach them about Jesus!
All I could think about last night was "who in the world came up with buying presents for Easter". This is a holiday that is celebrated because Jesus died and Rose for our sins.! he was beaten until he bled, He was hung up by nails. Can you imagine what that felt like? Nails? Have you ever had one in your foot? That hurts! Can you imagine seeing your kids have that done to them? God had to watch this happen!!! Then he Rose much to everyone's surprise! Now how cool is that? But the Bible does not say "Now go and buy your kids something else they dont need"! Of course I followed tradition and got a few little junk items to throw in a basket! It just frustrated me to have to shop for those things neither of my girls needed! They dont eat candy, they have too many toys, and we have no money to buy junk! Yes, they would be fine without something, and maybe I wont do that from the "Easter bunny", but I do like for my kids to be able to talk about things that the other kids are raving about! I think I want to work on that part of my self from now on! My kids dont need to be like everyone else; but I do not want them to feel left! I want them to be Happy and be able to say "You shouldnt ask for presents on Easter, you should be happy you are here on this earth and you will have life for eternity on streets of gold with no wants, or needs, or Fears of any kind because Jesus died and Rose AGAIN"! Wow, how cool is that?

Thank you oh Gracious Heavenly Father, for your Son. the JESUS that endured so much pain and suffering, so much agony, just to save me and give me a life with Hope! In Jesus PRecious Name I pray. AMEN

Another Contest

2007-04-06T07:44:00.000-06:00

They are having another giveaway over at 5MFM..they are giving away the great new printer that can be hooked into a phone line for someone without a computer. ITs A way you can stay connected with those who dont have our great technology. Its called the PRESTO! It retails for about $150. PRetty cool. Get on over there and check it out.

Three things happening in my life.

2007-04-05T09:48:00.000-06:00

A lot has happened in the past few days that I just have to get out before I forget. First of all, my “Little miss” should have been a boy. Not because I wanted a boy, but because she is rough and wild like a little boy. She has legs of a linebacker and she is tough. The other night I was rocking her and she was pulling my hair and laughing, then she would stick her fingers in my mouth in what seemed like an effort to pull my teeth out! When you try to take something away from her she has such a grip that it takes all my might to get it from her. I guess she is getting me back for the time she spent in ICU and all of the needle sticks she received, not to mention the calcium intake she was given made her strong. J

Second:
I taught my first Junior Achievement class yesterday. It was so much fun. I volunteered for this because the person who was signed up to teach this class emailed everyone that she had taken a new job in Arlington and was not going to be able to do it. So, since I want to be a teacher, it sounded fun to me and I responded. I have never even heard of Junior Achievement! Well, I have heard the term, but didn’t know what they did. They take volunteers and sign them up for the local schools for a 5-7 week (once a week) program. The volunteers are assigned to a specific classroom and they are given a full lesson plan with activities to teach in a 45 minute period. It helps teach kids about staying in School! This year the lessons are about cities, zoning, and different things that happen within these areas. I was assigned to a 3rd grade class at one of the school districts on the South Side of town. It is considered a magnet school; however, some of the children are less fortunate and may have many problems within their home. They love to see JA come through-it makes them feel loved. My husband and I were so nervous! I only had 10 kids due to testing, but we had a blast. The kids are so sweet. I asked the question ‘what would our city do without a city planner, what kinds of things do you think would happen”—one little boy spoke up and said “Ms., I think we need to have a talk with our planner. Whoever designed the location of our school did a horrible job.” I asked “they did, what do you mean” he said to me “well, our school is here, right?, Just down the street they put the place where dead people go and have their blood drained”! (A funeral home) Then went on to say “And the hospital,…. Well it has a liquor store right next door”! It was all I could do to keep from laughing! I almost choked. Kids can say the funniest things!

Last:
I spoke with the local police department about my little teenage problem. And guess what they said ……You got it—there is nothing they can do. He ran the plates and told me he is on a first name basis with this child’s mom because both of her boys stay in trouble. I quickly said a Prayer for this mother and this kid. He also told me that because of our legislature this kid could park outside of my house and say whatever he wants 24/7 and he could not do anything about it. This is the reason our kids are like they are today! They have absolutely no discipline and the government is making it where they get away with everything just shy of murder. He could get prison time if he harassed me by email, but not to my face. So of course my response was “you are telling me that someone is going to have to bury their child before he can get punished”. That is so sad! I told him he may end up with four flat tires and a few dents on his car, to which he responded “don’t tell me anything”!!!!

Where is the Respect?

2007-04-02T21:03:00.000-06:00

What happened to respect? When I was a teenager I was told to shake hands with an adult, say yes maam and no sir, speak when spoken to, and us courtesy for others when driving down the road. Now, I was raised in Hallsville "(Hicksville)", and we had our share of rebellious rednecks--but for the most part we were taught that we should respect anyone older than us!
Teenagers today do not have that kind of respect!!! They think they are better than anyone and we should get out of their way! Please do not get offended if you read this and have teenagers...... I am not saying they are ALL that way, I know a few good ones. But here is a great example of what I am talking about.

Last Friday I had both girls with me and was on my way home from work. I turned on my road driving only about 15 miles an hour because their were kids playing outside. When I came upon the street just before my house, a red mustang with two teenage boys just decides to run the stop sign and pull out in front of me! I dont mean your typical near miss, I mean I came to a complete stop in the road because he was 3 feet away from me when he pulled out. He was watching me and knew exactly what he was doing. It irritated me so much and of course I gave him my evil mom stare. That didnt seem to matter much, he and his friend just laughed! I know they were thinking "that old woman thinks she was going to scare us"! Well yesterday I decided to mow the front yard and while I was out there my neighbor came to talk. While we were standing in the front yard, I noticed this same car and boys coming down the street. I looked up and they pulled over in front of the curb and stopped, then rolled down their windows as if they were going to say something.

These two "punks", as I like to refer to them, just started laughing and spun their turns as they drove off! I could have spit nails at this point and if I would have a gun, they would have had four flat tires! I am still on the hunt for these boys and I am asking around to find out who they are. I plan on meeting their parents and then talking to the Chief. Will this do any good? Probably not, but I am just so irritated and they should not be allowed to get away with acting like "punks"! My other neighbors are angry because these kids drive up and down our road at 55-60 miles an hour. I live in a neighborhood--20 mile an hour TOPS! Kids ride their bicycles and adults walk the block-55-60 will eventually lead to a tragedy if they are allowed to keep going! I am so mad! But I know God doesnt want me to handle this one because I wont do it in a very Christian like manner. I have asked him for strength to give this up, but he is not giving me that! I wonder , is it Ok for me to ask GOD to handle them in a manner that will teach them?? I dont mean I want something bad to happen to them, but the front end of my truck embedded into the side of their pretty red car might do the trick--(without anyone hurt of course) Just a simple little something that would make them lose their wheels!
Yes , I am rambling but I am mad, I hope I can raise my girls to be better drivers and to respect other people! This is my goal, we are going to start teaching what the word "respect" means. My four year old is doing ok , but I plan to make it even better with God's help. That way, some old, grouchy, woman doesnt come looking for her one day!

God Bless US with Stop Signs Today

2007-03-31T20:04:00.000-06:00

Today my husband had a game in Dallas so I stayed home to clean. After lunch the sun came out and I was ready to go shopping, so I called my MIL and had her come and watch the baby so I could take my 4 year old Miss Priss with me and we could spend the day together. We went to a craft show nearby where a friend had a booth selling hairbows and little girls outfits. Of course I had to get some bows made! Tomorrow is our Easter Egg hunt at Church so her dress needed a bow. While we were there, her friend monogrammed it for us! It is precious! We left there and decided to go look at bedroom furniture. She is sleeping in her own bed now and she has the mattess and box springs on the floor! The child needs a bedroom suit! We finally found some and ordered it. Then we decided to get home!

On the way home she decided she wanted to listen to Praise and Worship music by Travis Cottrell! This was unusual because she is usually watching Barbie on the TV! But I put in the CD and she started to sing. The words were nothing like what was on the music--she was making up her on songs about how God and Jesus were watching over us! It was so precious! Then she said where is God, of course, I answered he is in Heaven and he is looking down on us right now! Then, I told her lets name things that God has Blessed us with today--she gave me a funny look, so I started it off: He gave us today with each other, He allowed daddy a safe trip to Dallas, He Blessed us with Grandma to watch the baby while we could shop........ and then she started YEP and HE gave US Stop signs!!!! I wanted to laugh so bad! It was so cute and I almost teared up! She was so serious and sincere and let me tell you she was thankful for that stop sign! Thank you God for our stop signs!!!

Great new contest

2007-03-31T08:05:00.000-06:00

Head on over to 5M4M!! They are giving away a Dyson Slim Vacuum! This vacuum retails for $469 -so this is a great give away. Just sign Mr. Linky and of course add a post with links back to their site and the Dyson Site.
Have a great day! I will be back to post later!

This is SO Texas!

2007-03-29T15:16:00.000-06:00

I had to post this hilarious joke I just received by email:

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a Woman from Colorado and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man had married a woman from Nebraska He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2007-03-29T08:38:00.000-06:00

IF ANYONE IS READING THIS PLEASE PRAY:

My last post was a request for Prayers on the twins--they lost the little girl last night--Her lungs just could not go any more! Please Pray for this family and for the little boy---

Prayers Needed

2007-03-28T20:21:00.000-06:00

For those few of you who read this post I am requesting heavy Prayers for a new set of twins born this past weekend. they were born very early and both weigh a little over 1 pound! Please visit the blog that was set up for their updates and let them know you are Praying. Their mommy is a teacher in the school district I live in. PLEASE PRAY.

Last night God sent me a very obvious message. It was so scarey I got chills! Here is how it happened:
Yesterday morning, I was running late, as usual! Not extremely late, but I knew I still had to stop and get something to eat for Miss Priss, so I was getting close. It started out that of course I dont sleep at night, so we were late getting up, then she stalled at getting dressed-normal occurrence in our household. I have a household full of "lollygaggers"!
I finally got her dressed in the only pair of size 4 shorts we have in the house, fixed her hair and off we went. We got into the car and I got her buckled into her seat then I heard it---the loud shreaking scream followed by "hurry, mommy its cold"! I turned around and noticed the lid on her cup was not on tight enough and --well--she was wearing sunny d! At that moment I lost it, she cried and I grabbed her up, as I was getting on to her, to change her clothes.. which we had none to put on because she is very petite and has just decided to outgrow her 24 months size from last summer.....Yep, 24 months at 3 years old! Unbelieveable--she outgrew them and went straight to a 3T and 4T--waist is way too big--but she is too tall for anything any smaller! So that set me off--I had to put her in a pair of shorts that were a little short--"bringing n the hooters attire"! Now none of this was her fault of course--but I am very impatient and no one else was there, so I am a horrible mother and let her have it!
We both began our day crying-she got over it pretty fast, but i felt guilty all day!

Last night when it was time for her to go to bed-she asked her daddy to read a book--she chose her book of daily devotions for children and he told her he would read a couple of days and then it was time for bed. I happened to walk through the room at the very moment he started to read and this is what it said:
"God help me be patient when I am mad. I know when I am patient it makes you glad" The devotion told a story of how easy it is to get upset , but God is patient with us when we do things wrong, so we should be patient with our family (siblings, friends, etc.)

Ok--boy was that an obvious reprimand from my "FATHER:"! It cut deep into my heart! I told her I loved her and said our goodnight Prayers -! I am Praying that God will give me patience and get rid of my anxiety. I have been without medicine for a year and I want to do this with God's help -not a pill! I think that devotion was enough to help me try and think before I speak next time!

2nd Contest Quote

2007-03-27T13:03:00.000-06:00

Here is the 2nd quote for the contest--Visit "So Much to Say, So Little Time" and tell them I sent you over so I can get another point!

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. C. S. Lewis

Quote Contest

2007-03-27T12:46:00.000-06:00

jewlsntexas is having a contest for the best quote! The great thing is the winner gets a blog design and you can enter twice!!

Here is my quote for the 1st entry:
"Tis better to Remain Silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all Doubt" Poor Richard's Almanac

I love by this every time I am in Bible class or class at school and the teacher asks "do you have any questions or comments"!

2007-03-26T19:48:00.000-06:00

Made it Home

2007-03-26T09:18:00.000-06:00

PRAISE GOD! We made it home safe after a long day. After the seminar today at noon I went to the Convention center to meet up with my dad and new step mom--I was put to work of course selling art work to people! Then my sister drove over with my four year old and my niece so we could go shopping on the Boardwalk! That was interesting! WE spent 30 minutes in Build a Bear! 45 Minutes in Childrens Place! All of the spiritual renewal was washing away fast as I watched my patience level go down the drain. Ady was tired and grouchy , then to top all of it off--all of the food places were packed except for one.......as I hesitate to say this because I cant actually believed we were there......IT WAS HOOTERS!!! Of all places --but we were starving and couldnt wait 45 minutes to eat---"and you know, they have good wings"! "YEAH RIGHT!" It was semi pleasant though--the food was good and Ady hit her neck on the table --being a drama queen she started to cry extremely loud-then all of these prissy teenage girls half dressed pranced over with a bag of ice to hug and take care of her! That was pleasing--I wanted to say "please put pants on, your rear is hanging out"! But that is part of the look I suppose! They are not my children and they were very sweet! Thank goodness my child didnt notice the attire--I mean if you think about it--those outfits are quite popular in 2007! What has our world come to?

Well this post was not to bash the hooters clothing line--but to Praise God and thank Him for our safe trip home and for the great weekend he gave me! I am continuing to Pray for strength and Faith that he will lead me into Peace and out of Fear!

Get out of the Boat

2007-03-23T21:39:00.001-06:00

Last week I received an email from a girl that I graduated with...I was in a college class with her husband not long ago and didnt realize that she was his wife..very strange..anyway, I am on their address list, and she sent out a mass email saying that she had a Beth Moore Living Proof tick et for sale. I answered her email "immediatley" saying "I want that ticket" ! I new nothing about this event and didnt even know if we had the $55 for the ticket--God just said "You are going"! I know who she is and I have read one of her Bible studies (never finished it of course)! So I thought well I'll give it a try! I looked up info on this event and found out it was sold out! Well obviously I wouldnt be able to invite anyone at that point so I had committed to this ticket and was going to go by myself. I have been very nervous because I dont do well by myself.

Our preacher has been teaching our Sunday School class and is doing a great lesson on "Boat Potates" and "Water Walkers". Can you guess what that is about? The story when Jesus told his disciple to get out of the boat and "come" to him---during the storm he told him to walk on water. What does this story have to do with me going to a Bible Study? Well, I do not like going places without my family because I am always scared something will happen. I talk myself into staying home most of the time! I have been away by myself a time or two and just felt miserable. I get so tense inside and I am a nervous wreck! This time I had no choice--I spent the $55 and lets face it "God told me to "Come"! I was excited and nervous-wondering ok what does He have planned for me and my family now? i really should stay home, we have a mice family living in our garage-(a whole other story) I need to clean and do laundry! But I could sure use the rest in the hotel room by myself!
So I got out of the "boat" and drove myself to Shreveport! Sweating the whole way of course! I get to the event late--have you ever seen 14000 women trying to get into the same place at once? It isnt pretty!!!!!! I ease myself into a seat next to some total stranger and begin to listen to Travis Cottrell's Praise Band (Awesome by the way)! As I was listening to his powerful music--I started to sweat and get short of breathe--wondering ok--we are about to be bombed -what better place for someone to get to than a building with 14000 Moms, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, and friends who are filled with the Holy Spirit! I almost walked out--I was so scared--This fear has overcome my life! Then at that point Beth Moore walked out and the lights came on! She started to speak --I immediately calmed down and sat back in the chair and began to listen. She is such an awesome speaker--I will post tomorrow on what the lesson was about after it is over. But for tonight- I just had to post on how amazing God is! I know he brought me to this place--Was it for rest? (He knows I need it) Obviously not because it is 11 pm and I am typing my journal! It had to be to find my Faith! That is what she spoke about--finding your trust and letting him take our stones and build a temple in our hearts! It was so I could rest ---but not "real" lay in the bed and sleep rest---but to rest in Him! I want to do this and I so desperatey want to let fear go and give it to him. I Pray tonight for strength and Peace as I rest and go into another powerful lesson tomorrow! I Praise God for giving me this time for myself and I Praise him for keeping me safe. I Pray I will get through another day as I "get out of the boat" and begin my journey home!

READ THIS

2007-03-22T12:07:00.000-06:00

I dont have time to post today -maybe tonight-but read this-it will inspire you!

Blessings

2007-03-21T14:07:00.000-06:00

I started this blog to use as a journal, to get to meet new friends, and to get thoughts out of my head. I havent found much time to post lately, or maybe it is just getting old. I have found a few new people that I visit their sites daily and love them. But I am not inspiring or funny enough to keep interests of several people. I have several things to type about but just havent found the time to type and dont know if anyone is reading, including my husband! Today I will post that I have been given a Blessing in my life: of course my girls, my husband, my family, my home--definitely things not to forget about! But today I have been overwhelmed thinking about this Blessing.

We have been struggling with teaching my four year old how to Pray! She hates to Pray! I dont know why, we go to Church, she Prays before lunch with the class at school--but she doesnt like to Pray here. She will "allow" dad to Pray but she wont bow her head and she acts silly the whole time! This has been so frustrating because I want her to WANT to pray! So I was dropping some things off at Ashley Adam's dad's office about 2 weeks or so ago and I simply asked him for advice: he said just make her say something short every night-no matter what something like "Thank you God, In Jesus Name Amen" So I came home that day and tried that. Then after she would say that I would say a Prayer telling God thank you for all of the blessings we have, and of course Praying for Ashley and Ethan ! Then a few days later I would tell her to add Thank you for _________ anything she wanted to add. Now, she asks to say Prayers and her latest went like this:
"Dear God, Please protect me in my bed at night, Thank you for baby Ashley and baby Ethan, Thank you for my wonduful family. In Jesus Name Amen."
After the Prayer she rolled over and said to me "Mommy go in der (there) with daddy, I am asleep now". I, of course, cried ! She did eventually come back and get me-but at least she tried. Now she says beautiful short Prayers every night all by herself! I am so very Proud and I say a huge thanks to Dave for that little bit of advice! Off to do homework now!

Growing UP Makes me Sad!

2007-03-14T09:45:00.000-06:00

Today I am making time to post something; however, it will not be fun, inspiring, or anything else to change lives. I have not posted in a week because I just dont have anything to talk about. I want to do the Tackle it Tuesday-but for some reason when I went to post yesterday, I copied and pasted the banner code, then I went to type and the banner kept erasing! I am just not "blog literate" yet! I am working on it! I am ready for my new design! I have a friend at Church that is capable but he is way too busy, then the decision is: Do I really want to "pay" $45 for my blog site? I dont know, maybe I will go take a class and become a blog designer and a work from home mom! Sounds great to me! I am going to figure out how to get that Tackle it tuesday banner in my journals, but I probably will not have pictures to go with everything I do!

I do have one neat thing that has happened this week.... we bought Miss Priss a mattress set (bedroom set on order) and we bought princess sheets with a hot pink comforter she picked out that is featured in Seventeen Magazine from JCPenneys, the first night she pouted a little when it was time for bed but she went with her daddy and was asleep in 15 minutes, she stayed there ALL night!!! Even through the screaming of little sister wanting to get up and play! I was so proud of her. She woke up at 730 am and ran in the kitchen saying "I am so proud of myself"! I went out and bought her a big girl nightgown and a Princess Pig (she picked it out)! The second night, well, she made it until midnight, not so good! but hey she went to bed at 830 and I did have time to read and watch a show with my hubby! Last night was our third try and my neice came to spend the night with us! She is 9! So, at 1000 I said bedtime and they piled up in that twin bed together. Miss Priss leaned over and whispered in my ear "mommy you can leave and go lay with daddy, I have S---- to lay with tonight, I wont be scared"! I was heartbroken of course, being replaced by a 9 year old, but I was so very proud! At 330 this morning I heard them whispering through the monitor and so I went to check on them and she was telling her cousin "I think I need my mommy" so I tried to get her to lay back down--wasnt happening, I needed to sleep so I brought her to bed with me! At least she made it that far through the night! We are making progress and it makes me sad to know she is growing up. I have to get dressed to take these two girls to eat and then off to homework! I hope to make time to post each day once we get more of a bedtime routine! I love this blogging and I am ready to visit more of those on the list.

The Party is coming to an end!

2007-03-08T20:52:00.000-06:00

I am only here for a minute to say that this party has not been long enough! With sick children and Leadership class going on-i have not had much time to spend -I only visited about 60 sites and my goal was to visit at least 200 hundred. Would I remember them all? Of course not! I have been saving some along the way... But just the opportunity to say hello and read about other women experiencing some of the same things I am, or who have experienced in their life, is great therapy for me. God has blessed me with a few friends since I have started this process. I plan to try and visit some more of the sites as long as the list is up. I hope everyone had fun ! Have a great evening! I will be posting on my Bible studies this weekend and would love to have input from you!

Monday Blues

2007-03-05T14:38:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone is having fun at the party! I have not been able to visit much today, my little one is very sick! She has contracted that awful virus going around! I am going to stop taking her into public because she stays so sick! She seems to be feeling a little better at this moment because she is eating stickers--maybe she is missing a vitamin or something :) anyway--I hope to visit some tonight after hubby gets home-if not -I will see you all tomorrow! Have Fun and Have a wonderful day!

Taking a Break from the Party

2007-03-04T07:37:00.000-06:00

Good morning! I am about to get ready for Church--I am so tired because I was visiting parties until 1130 last night. My 13 month old awoke early and we sat in the recliner and rocked, played pat a cake, brushed our hair, spit on each other LOL--a new game she has discovered, then we made indian calls -all of this was her fight not to go back to sleep of course. Now she has demaned a Pop Tart, I know, not very healthy, but I am out of Gerber Oatmeal (her breakfast of choice-YUK) so she took the Pop Tart and Tang! That is her party food. I need to stop by and meet a few people before I get dressed for Church so of course I will leave you with the joke for the day:

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Im sure most everyone is at Church but I hope every one has a Blessed Day and enjoys the party this evening. See you soon!

Day 2 of the Party

2007-03-03T09:17:00.000-06:00

If you want to see where its all about just go vist here and check it out. Thanks to these women we can have fun and meet new friends all in the comfort of our own home! I forgot to tell you a little about me: I am wife to wonderful husband J and mother of two beatiful Princess', one is 4 and one 13 months! They are what keeps me going each day! I work full time in the medical equipment business and I am finishing up 3 classes from college to graduate with a business degree and start the Teaching Certification Program to teach 4th-8th grade math or History! I am hoping to start an intern teaching position in the Fall if there is a school who is willing to hire me! I would love to be home with my girls at least through the summer. I have a new found relationship with Jesus and my life is changing every day! THe title of my blog for now is New Beginnings because I have started this year off with a new life and God is the center of my World. He has Blessed me tremendously and it is time I thank him.

Here is the recipe for what I will be serving today:

Tortilla Pinwheels
8 oz sour cream
8 oz pkg cream cheese
14 oz can rotel or diced chillies
garlic powder to taste
14 oz can black olives
7-10 flour tortillas
1 cup grated cheese
1/2 cup green onion
salsa
seasoned salt to tast

Mill all filling ingredients together. divide the filling and spread evenly over tortillas; roll the tortillas up. cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate. cut into slices 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. Garnish with parsley!

And of course cake:

1 box yellow cake mix
2 small pkg instant chocolate pudding
1 cup oil
1 1/4 cups water
4 egss
1 pkg milk choco chips (non semi sweet)

Mix dry ingredients, and set aside. Mix oil, water, eggs in large bowl; add chips and mix slightly with mixer. Add dry ingredieents slowly mixing well between additions. Pur batter into a greased and floured bundt pan. Bake at 350 for 1 hour until cake springs.

I will have tomato basil wheat thins with Homemade Gourmet Dill dip and Mango Tea as well as Vanilla Cinnamon Coffee. Please come by and enjoy. Here is another JOKE for the party:

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Have fun at the party-hope to see you again after its over.

Its Party Time

2007-03-02T09:47:00.000-06:00

Today starts the party events. Not sure what it will be like but I am loving this blog world. I am at work so I will have to visit with everyone later. I cant wait to meet new people and see everyone's Blog site! I want to start a home business so I am dying for some ideas.. I would love to create blog sites.. but guess I need to add another class from school to the other three I am in!
Here is a cute joke to tell for the party:
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! in. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!"
Anyway hope to see everyone later today! Happy Friday!

On my mind

2007-02-28T21:10:00.000-06:00

I dont have alot of wonderful things to write about lately--but I can think of one that is on my mind tonight.

Forgiveness:

I have the most incredible husband, he is a wonderful daddy who loves all of his girls! He is a very hard worker and he keeps things from me so I dont have to worry about them. He pays all of the bills, I couldnt tell you if we are rich or poor (probably poor)! I dont even remember how to balance a check book! All I do is spend the money! Now I have to say, I am EXTREMELY HARD TO LIVE WITH! I need to say that before I go any further. I gripe and I am easily annoyed. He is not!! He is very passive and calm, and sometimes sickening with no worries. I am not a loving person, I do not like to hug, or kiss or touch when I am sleeping! Ok-so why did I get married? HMMMMM!!!! Well, I know God brought him into my life to be my calm when there is a storm! Here is where forgiveness plays a part in this story......

He is gone alot, so therefore I have some resentment built up..... BUT.... he is making money, not in some bar getting drunk.... so why cant I see the positive?
He leaves his clothes in the bathroom floor.. I dont have time to clean up my stuff? ... so where is the problem?
He never hugs me or calls just to say I love you, he only touches me at 11 pm (can u guess)...BUT--I dont like to be hugged, I turn my cheek when he tries to kiss me? HELLO! What other choice does he have?
He gets overly angry with me when I correct his driving... Let me tell you this story.... we were driving in Louisiana a few weekends ago and we were at a VERY busy intersection coming out of a shopping center--the cars going from left to right were piling up so they could hurry and make it through the red light, this meant when our light turned green, we would not be able to go if there was a car there...... so what does J decide to do? "tell me if you see cars coming" --yep he was going to run the light! "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" I hollared loudly, he said if we dont we will be stopped here forever, SO--where do we have to be?????? it is RED light--the law???? He turns around and says to me" have some common sense Krista"--WHAT, I must not be hearing correctly--it is a red light--common sense says STOP! Anyway, we got out ok... but you can plainly see why I correct his driving methods and why my truck has an extra brake on the passenger side!
He refuses to put up stuff when he walks by-he just steps over it--his comment is--well you stepped over it too---yes but I have picked up 500 other things prior to that and it is the principal!!!!

I just dont get it! are men really this dense? I have to say my daughter does sleep in between us so there isnt much time for US! We never get to watch movies, I hate to put both of my children with a babysitter at one time because the little one is EXTREMELY busy--nto to mention everyone has their own life! so we never have date night anymore! We did get to go on a cruise at the end of last year-had fun, even had a great relationship for a month when we got home--but that died!

I am Furious because he schedules a b-ball game every year on our anniversary so I didnt even buy him a card this year. BUT he buys a card and something special each year. Does that make it ok, not to me.. but I make him think so!

I love him and I wouldnt trade him for the world--I ask God to help me change.. but I dont think he is listening until I can say I forgive him and until I can ask for forgiveness! Alot of people have given advice, but you know-I am not them.. I have a different outlook on things !

I am currently trying to change my attitude and staying in the Word seems to help very much! If I can only keep motivated and not get discouraged. It helps so much to have different blogs to read and gain inspiration from these women who have been where I am or who are in much worse situations! For not having much to say, it was quite a long post--but I had to get that off my chest. I must go read a chapter so I can get some motivation.

Nothing to say

2007-02-26T20:23:00.000-06:00

I have just not had anything to write about--my life is boring right now! I guess I am pulling myself out of that hole! I am supposed to mention in one of my post about the Blog Party--coming up March 2nd-9th! Click on the link in my sidebar --I am not quite sure what it is about but I think it will be a great way to see other blog sites and meet new friends! Have fun!

Convicted

2007-02-21T10:28:00.000-06:00

For the last week, I have been in a yucky mood! Dont really know why... Probably just really tired. As moms we have so much on our plate, and yet I have added baggage on top of that with work and school! but I am almost through, if I can ever get through Physics! And hopefully will be teaching next year! Praying, and keeping fingers crossed. I havent really had anything to write about lately, Pretty boring when I compare my site to the others I have read; however they have been posting alot longer, so maybe with practice I can get there. Maybe someday I can inspire others, who knows.

Lately, I have had a few thoughts on two things: Juding & Gossip!
Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Couldnt find the scripture on actual gossiping. These two words are so much a part of women. Now I am not saying every woman. Just Most. That is my opinion. Some to a higher degree than others. What woman doesnt like some juicy piece of gossip... whether it be of a friend, of someone in your community, or a member of the Church. How many times do we as women say to ourselves, sometimes to our husbands...Look at what that person is wearing. Oh my gosh, they are wearing white in the winter.... or Can you believe she dresses her kids that way? Lately, mine has been more about personality traits. I recently had the privilege of meeting someone who "just drove me absolutely batty"! I cannot go into detail for fear that I would hurt someone, but this person drove me crazy.. not for any reason in particular.. probably because they were different than me. Now, a year ago or even less, I could have spoke my mind and go on about my business as if I had never met that person. But all of the sudden.. I FEEL CONVICTED.!!! YIKES! That is a term I thought I would never use! TRULY, DEEPLY, CONVICTED. Like I dont like myself for thinking these things! This is totally frightening! I cannot turn into an emotional, likeable person! THat is just not me! My husband and I were riding in the car the other day and subject came up about someone we know and their "very" different ways and we just talked about them, just like a gossip session. I just stopped mid sentence and said Man i feel bad, "they are not bad people" just different from us. He said you have a point, they probably dont like us either.
I was talking to a freind last night, and we were talking about a situation that had happened and we were discussing how that person doesnt show emotions, they are somehwat fake. and I litereally stepped out of my body and heard myself telling, HER, a very wonderful, loving, Christian person--"now lets stop and think, we should be Praying for her not condemning her"! WHAT--WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? I am sick, I need to see a shrink! Those words would have never come from my mouth without God telling me--"you need to hush, and think about your own self"! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? Am I getting a heart for people? Cant happen, It makes me think too much! Plus, I get emotionally attached, and then I hurt for people then I get sad, then I spend time talking on the phone, then I have to send cards, or emails. I do not have time for this in my life. But I find myself wanting to MAKE time, I want to make time to care! I want to make time for others, and I want to find so many friends that I just cant love anymore! I want to LOVE my husband (that is the next post), I want to share with my family. OOOUUU! I am having emotions. I want to quit talking about people, or juding their lifestyle and love them instead! All of the sudden, I hate thinking people may actually be talking about me, probably saying "that girl drives me crazy," that girl needs to loosen up, or she is sooo negative it is sickening! Ok, I dont want to be that person! I want to be the one they say good things about! Wow, this is alot to sink in ! I could go on and on but I have to take my little girl into town and then hit the books with my new found Physics tutor! my goal for this week is to not let this conviction bother me, but rather, let it mold me into a better person that God is wanting me to be.

Dumping Rocks

2007-02-14T07:52:00.000-06:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ! I am sure this title sounds a little weird! this will be a short post as I have to get ready for Bible Study this morning. But I needed to vent a little. I had a terrible day yesterday! When I received the news on little Ashley, I just lost it! How in the world could this be happening? How much more can this little family take? The news discouraged me and Satan came in! I started talking to God in the car and literally out loud started to tell him "I finally started to truly believe in something, believe in YOU! If you are there, how could you allow this little one to suffer with anymore heartache than what she is already suffering with?" All of these questions, anger, saddness! It just isnt fair. If He wants to take her home, then please take her before she suffers anymore pain. And if he is going to Heal her, then do it now and let her mommy and her go home where they belong. Let her see how much love has come her way!

Last night I was talking to my aunt (my second mom) and she gave me something to think about "Who are We to question God? we have nothing wrong in our lives, We have healthy children. Who do we think we are questioning him?" She has a very valid point. And maybe I got the wrong meaning.. but I didnt realize it until 1030 when I sat down to read my chapter for today's Lesson.. The very first chapter was about a man who was asked by God to carry stones up the hill, as he went up he stopped by several places and offered to carry their rocks, pebbles, and other items. His load got to heavy and he got angry. Then God quickly reminded him, "I didnt ask you to carry their loads, just the three stones".... In other words, quick trying to carry everyone's else burdens and carry your own! WOW! This hit me hard and I started to SOB heavily, God doesnt want me to carry the Ashley's burdens, her mommy can do that for her! But I will be concerned and I can simply Pray for her! It still hurts but I know He has the power and her family is so very strong... He gave this to them because HE knew they could handle it and handle it with GRACE! I Pray for his healing power on this little Angel, and I Pray for Peace to come into her family. Happy Valentines Day!

SATAN, GO AWAY!!!!

2007-02-12T15:07:00.001-06:00

Now, I am just plain mad! I just typed a whole post and lost connection with my computer. The devil is really getting me today… Then I just discovered… duh! Type it in word, you dingbat, and then copy and paste!!!!

Ok, so I will try this again, but those feelings are gone now so I don’t know how this will turn out…………
I am struggling today, and Satan is really gnawing at me! As I read through Ashley’s journal today, I am saddened. Tears of hurt for her mommy, for her, and for me! I want to know, Is GOD listening? There are so many people praying for her, every time she gets better and close to getting out, another bomb falls on her and she starts to struggle! What is it? Is there someone out there still needing to be reached? Is there something he wants from us or from them? I am mad at myself for getting attached, I am mad because I want her to get better. I am mad because I feel these things.
As I was reading through Blogs last night, I read a journal on www.jodyferlaak.blogspot.com (sorry don’t know how to link) and then I found an article on her Story! She lost her four year old in a horrible tragedy in 2001! In the article, it says that she made a statement about how, “there was a reason her family was in that restaurant on that day”! I have always believed “God puts us in every place for some reason”! I have just posted these thoughts last week—but they keep coming back… Here is the updated part of that post
I was told last week to just say out loud these words:
SATAN, GET BEHIND ME!! You are in My way, an offense, a hindrance, and a snare to Me!
And to Pray and give thanks for my healthy girls –so I have been doing that and it is helping some! I just simply say “SATAN GO AWAY”! I don’t want him behind me, in front of me, or even beside me! I don’t want him near me! I love to read these blogs and I love to post—but someone told me-these blogs may have been given to me by Satan himself because he knew it would have a greater impact on me than anything. So I will Pray today for strength, and for guidance to know what it is I am supposed to find out of all of this! Sorry, I will try to post more positive things this week and I will try to get off of this subject! It just keeps lurking! Oh yea, if you read this journal please visit www.ethanpowell.com and Pray for this little 2 month old baby, he has been diagnosed with Leukemia, I know his family and they are such sweet people!

Beautiful Moments

2007-02-09T21:10:00.000-06:00

I have been so busy and have not been able to post an actual journal lately, but tomorrow is the big day for the scrapbook event and I am Praying God blesses this day! But I have just had the sweetest moment with my little one.. I am feeling guilty now I have to admit because my four year old was WHINEY, as usual at this time, because Daddy isnt home to play with her while I rock the baby to sleep... she layed down in her sleeping bag beside the rocking chair and was asleep in five minutes-so I cant apologize and tell her I love her for griping at her because she was whining too much! I hate that.. but while I was rocking, Ella would pull her bottle out of her mouth and smile soo big, then she reached up to give me good milky sugars! I love those kind.. She is so cuddly and warm at bedtime and it makes me forget how absolutely wild she is during the day. My husband says he has always wanted a boy, but he got him a mean little girl instead! she plays rough and tough, and can hold her on with any little boy that comes near her. It is so fuuny how my girls are so opposite... one is a princess and the other a linebacker. After she would give me kisses she would shove her fingers in my mouth and giggle! She loves Teeth. Dont know why, but she loves to poke and push on my teeth then shove her whole little hand in my mouth until I pretend I am eating it then she laughs. But it is so sweet when she is half asleep to hear her laugh, her eyes are not even open. This is how she drifted off to sleep tonight.
My four year old also made a comment to me earlier "mommy, did you know that we are posed to luv evewyone?" "That means people i dont know too"! I was so proud of her. For some reason she doesnt like to Pray and she gets mad at me when I tell her that Jesus loves her when she is minding and being good--It is so difficult at this age. But at least she is learning something. She even pulled a chair up to the kitchen sink and asked if she could wash dishes. Should I video tape this moment so I can remind her when she gets older how sweet she was as a child?
I am Blessed beyond measures to have such beautiful little girls to share my life with. And I am so happy God chose me to loan them to. Praise you God for those gifts of glory.

2007-02-07T07:09:00.000-06:00

2007-02-06T15:27:00.000-06:00

These have been deleted as to not have my babies faces all over the net!

Ok I promised pictures... the two little ones are mine and the older one is my neice.

Scrambled Thoughts

2007-02-05T20:49:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I first have to apologize for my postings being so very long, but, since I am new to this I have alot to get off of my chest. Whether anyone is kind enough to read (some have been very kind, thank you) or not, at least it is out of my head for the night. So here is what I mean by my thoughts being so scrambled and here is why I love this "blogging" idea..

I mentioned in my first post, that when I have a positive thought, I have a million arguments as to why it cant happen to me... well,...here is an example:

A few months ago I was given a website to view (Ashleysstory.org)(I do not know how to link yet). I am so glad I took the time to read and keep reading: She has touched my heart and so has her amazing family. Since that blog came into my life, my Prayer life has become RICH, my spiritual life and relationship with God is starting to blossom.. I am feeling a sense of Peace about things. Thank you Staci for that phone call. On finding that journal, I started to find other journals through the comment section, and stumbled onto "Blog World". I must not be technologically advanced because I had no idea this existed! However, it has been a life changing experience for me. As I find one, then another comes across, and another. So many have beautiful children with illnesses or other things that have happened in their little lives.. so many babies to Pray for and so many to be thankful for. I just had to think: What an eye opener, here I am going about my BUSY, working daily life and feeling agitated, and tired, when all along I should be seeing these Blessings I have before me. My girls are healthy and I must say absolutely gorgeous ( I promise to post a picture, when I learn how)! Yesterday, I stumbled across a blog site and I found myself drawn to each and every post. I wanted to see more and read more. The mom is a mother of 5, one of which is in Heaven. Her little boy and girls are just as gorgeous as mine :)! I am just intrigued by her life and how Blessed she feels even after her tragedy... here is where the scrambled thoughts come into place.. and no amount of counseling will help this--it can only come from God's help.. Believe me I have tried!

Ok-I believe everything happens for a reason-God has a plan for everything. So, after reading this blog today, tears streaming down my face. I found myself questioning: "Why am I being led to these sites?" there is a purpose, I know it.. but What is it? Is God preparing me for something yet to come? Is he getting me ready to handle something that I know I am not strong enough to handle? Have I lost my ever loving mind? Should I quit reading these things and quit Praying for these babies and Pray for myself? (This cant be the answer) Or-is he showing me his work and telling me to slow down and "smell the flowers" so to speak (much more positive). Am I just a paranoid schizo that can live normally without fear something might happen to my baby girls?

I cant imagine my life without these two angels. So as all of these thoughts are occurring I am getting nauseated by the minute.. Pretty sick huh?-Well tonight as I sat down to journal this long, long post, I decided I better read my devotional from the weekends I am behind. I dont read the weekends alot because he makes them too long (like this post) and I have to find extra time to read yet another email! But I didnt read this past weekend, I skipped it and read last weekends--guess what I found: You guessed it, hopefully an Answer--here is what I pulled from the long paragraph:

As surely as there is a God, there is also a devil who seeks to exploit our weaknesses. He looks for our vulnerabilities, and when he finds them, where do you think he starts lobbing the temptations? Toward our weak spots, of course.

And my mind is definitely my weakest spot. I can manipulate any thought and my imagination runs wild. Too bad I cant write, I could be rich with all of the books I could write.

I see that Satan is wanting me to stop reading these sites and stop Praying so he can do his magic. I know this is the only reasoning behind these thoughts. Now I just need to make myself really believe that and quit doubting GOD! I need to have Faith and quit worrying. Sometimes I wonder, WHY in the World did God create Children? they just make Mommies worry!!! And that is what HE doesnt want us to do??? Sort of contradicting to me! But I know I have to give it to him and trust him and if something does happen, then I have to trust HE will bring me through it just like he has brought these other mommies through their trials!

I am so glad He loves me and is listening. And I am so glad I found this "world" and I am so thankful for the mommies who share their Blessings. I must get some rest --or read --I am WAY behind on my 90 day thing.. I am so ashamed. Good night to anyone who is reading and I promise to cut down my typing eventually.

Beautiful Blessing

2007-02-04T07:33:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I had something to post yesterday, but by the time I slowed down enough to type, I was way too tired. So I am about to get ready for Church and I have time this morning.. maybe.. if little Miss will play and allow it... Anyway. yesterday was a beautiful day and I was able celebrate one of the most beautiful Blessings God gave to me. Last year on that day, I was HUGE, IN PAIN, and wishing I would have never met "A HUSBAND"!! YEP I was Pregnant.. who couldnt have guessed that right? Well, after 10 or 12 tries they managed to get the IV in and wheel me back into the operating room, the got the spinal to work (YEAH, my first child, I had to be put totally under)! so I was feeling strange and waiting, My husband and my mom brought over this bundle of precious little girl to me.. I was so relieved and excited of course, then as the doc was finishing up and making it where this would never happen again, The vomiting started, Have you ever tried to do that with NO FEELING from your neck down...VERY DIFFICULT.. that went on for an hour, then for the next 24 hours the nurses had to add pain to my tummy because something didnt work right and anyway, She was born on a friday and that Monday we brought her home... I already have one little one so this ought to be fairly easy.. We cuddled and slept and fed and changed... Pretty basic stuff.. Then came Wednesday............

My mom decided she would come spend the night and sleep with little miss so we could get some sleep (God's definite plan) My husband had a b-ball game so he was gone until late.. well, around 730 the baby let out a WEIRD scream, I went to pick her up and she was doing a weird jerking motion, As a mom, I thought instantly, the dreaded "seizure" term.. Gran of course, said no way, shes too little quit panicking... so again at 1030..right after my husband came in (again God's work) it happened again.. I insisted. we are going to the ER, so we get there and get ridiculed for bringing such a new baby into a sickly place like that, and then they dont get to witness this so they want to send her home as a muscle reflex... not happening.. something is wrong and I am not leaving.. (God's work again...another doc decided to watch her overnight).. this happened every two hours --I was a basket case knowing exactly what was going on.. but not one person would confirm it or run tests, or anything..When the pedi doc came by at 7am the next morning.. I said an immediate prayer... "God if you are listening, please let her have another episode RIGHT now so someone else can see this" Low and behold.. he heard my cry. she went for 2 minutes and it was worse.. We were then sent to Shreveport, LA to some pedi specialist, I lost it.. I was at that very moment regretting I had ever wanted another child..I cannot handle it if i lose her..What have I done??? anyway to cut this post down some and to cut down on time.. I will just say 5 days later and MANY tests later.. she was fine.. she had a calcium deficiency... her parathyroid glands were not developed and after they pumped her with tons of calcium.. 8 weeks of special milk and a supplement added she was good to go.. Since then she has not let me forget all of those needles.. she is getting me back, into everything. on the go.. wild (is eating magazine paper as I type) and definitely NOT the little Princess I thought I had.. But she is a beautiful Blessing and a beautiful reminder of how God was listening to those Prayers.. and I didnt realize that until now.. She is one and I am so happy he allowed me to have her while I am on this earth..I will try and post a picture maybe tomorrow I have to get them loaded..Thank you Lord for trusting me with these two amazing little girls! "But that is it, dont give me anymore"!! Off to Church!

HE is Talking to me!

2007-02-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

One of my biggest struggles with being a Christian is "letting go". How do you do this when you cant see "anyone" there beside you? and you cant hear anyone actually talking to you. I struggle with "FAITH"! I am a HUGE worry wart. I worry about everything, and I can make a mountain out of a mole hill in no time! Give me something positive to go on and I can give you 20 arguments against it! I dont know why I am this way, I guess it is inherited. But for the past few days for some reason I keep seeing Bible verses about Faith, and things like "give your worries to God" and "Do not Worry, have Faith in God", then I read on Ashley's journal of her being afraid she had lost the Faith for a while,and on the way home today in a rush our Church had a sign up about "Give your worries to the Lord".. Ok-so I asked myself, What is it about this scripture? Am I supposed to be relaying this to another person? ABSOLUTELY NOT, I am supposed to relay this to MY heart! This is my Father saying to me"Hello, brick wall, are you listening? Let things go, quit worrying about everything and let me handle it". I am arguing with everything I have and I cant figure out why--I am trying to be in control when I need to give it to Him. But can this be anymore Human? Worrying is a human instinct, a motherly instinct! He gave us children, now we worry ourselves sick, but doesnt HE worry about US?? Yes! So I am asking myself, what could it hurt? Maybe I wouldnt be so grouchy, maybe that is the answer here. Let him worry for me and I can be Happy and Live life to its fullest! HMMMMMM Easier said than done I think.. But my Prayer is that through my Bible study and fellowship with "soon to be" new Christian friends, and through reading his word--I can let all of these silly things go and let him handle it. I have beautiful healthy children, a wonderful husband, a home to live in, a car to drive, a job, almost a career ( a few more months)-and How did I get here from where I was 7 years ago? Well, not alone, I can tell you that. My mom always says "God didnt bring you this far in life to let you down"! She has a point, I think, I hope! I am finally experiencing GOD and experiencing some of the PEace that I have only dreamed of having.. so I guess it can only get better. And maybe he is preparing me for something in my life that I will have to "let go, and Let him", but hopefully he will wait until I am fully Prepared....

My Gracious and Heavenly Father:
I Pray that you will give me the strength and knowledge I need to trust in you wholeheartedly and I will have Peace consume me. I Pray that you will guide me and my mouth to love and help others as I go through this life on earth. I Pray you will be the center and focus point in my family and we will look to you for every answer. Thank you Father for what you have done in my life and for giving me my family that has brought me this far. Thank you for the new friends I am meeting each day. Father I also Pray today that you will Bless this fundraiser event for the Adams' Family and it will bring many more hearts to you! I Pray for Ashley and her family for healing and Peace through the procedure tomorrow, keep your hand on her Father and keep your arms around her mommy! Father I also lift up all of those other babies I took the time to read about today, and I Pray for baby Donovan's family that you will comfort them and keep them surrounded my your love. Thank you Father for loving me. In Jesus Name: AMEN

Is God Really There?

2007-01-29T21:10:00.000-06:00

I cant tell you how many times I have asked that question. I have called myself a Christian for some time now, but couldnt really claim that because I havent actully studied his Word and couldnt tell a soul anything if they asked me questions. All I could say was, "well everyone says its true, and we got here somehow".. So I started into this process very slowly. People around me keep talking about the end of the world and all the signs that are leading up to that day. Well, I have to say --that is just scarey to me!! Most people say they look forward to that day; Well, I am not there yet, I want to see my babies grow up and get married and experience life raising my children to Know God. Is it a scarey world to live in? YES! Do I wish things were better for my girls? Of Course! But I know it could be ALOT worse!!! And maybe someday it will be worse, it seems to be heading that direction, but right now I am so enjoying my babies, and watching how they grow, and listening to them learn new words, and learn new things. Well, I was feeling extremely overwhelmed about this topic one day and just totally scared to leave my house, so I started researching and asking questions for myself: I found a website and just decided to sign up for daily devotionals. Well, guess what the devotionals were about? THe end TIMES! OH NO, I did this to get away from this subject.....

But as I read through them each day, i started to realize, No one can tell me when that day is coming, the signs on this earth may not be signs of that at all, NO Human can make that prediction. So i started to calm down and live life again. then other questions came up about various things, and as they would come into my head, I would check my email and there would be my answers -right there in those devotionals. I often wondered "how in the world does GOD speak to people?" These peole are nuts, I havent heard him say a word to me. WEll , someone once asked me, "ARE YOU LISTENING?" What a concept? I was suppose to listen??? News to me!

Just recently I have Prayed and asked God to use me to witness, I begged and pleaded for days, just show me something so I can show people who you are so that I know I am not crazy!!! I want to help people. I want to better my personality and become the loving person I know I have DEEP DOWN inside of me! I was not getting any answers, I would go to say something to someone to comfort them and didnt have a clue what I was talking about. Well, low and behold, the other day I had an email, the "FAMOUS DEVOTION" -Someone must be emailing my thoughts to Pastor Greg Laurie, is all I can figure... but his devotion that day was simply this:

2 Timothy 2:2, "And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also"You might be thinking, Lord, come on! Use me. Call on me. I will turn this world upside down for You. But the Lord may be saying, "You are not ready yet. I have to prepare you first." Be faithful to do what He has set before you today to the best of your ability." He goes on to tell the story in Acts about Stephen and how he was used to serve, not to go and PREACH and save people. Then the big Kicker:

And as the Lord found him faithful in the little things, He gave him more responsibility.You can never be too small for God to use; only too big. We need to be faithful in what God has set before us. Because if we are not faithful in the little things, then we won't be in the big things
WOW! Was this an answer or what? So now I see God is there listening and hearing those Prayers but I have to stop and Listen and I may not be getting the answer I am searching for; but, I am getting the answer I NEED.

I am a day behind on the 90 day reading so I will leave this lengthy post (sorry, if you are tired of reading this by now) and go study his word. I Pray for Faith and Trust to let life go and let GOD lead!

My Day

2007-01-26T12:51:00.000-06:00

Well today I do not have much to post except that I have made a few decisions and I hope so much I can carry them through. I started the book "Read the Bible in 90 Days" last night, I read 15 pages, (only supposed to read 12). I loved it. But in my past decision making and goal setting processes I have set things and started them and not followed through. I am famous for "Giving Up"! I get busy doing too many things at once and then get overwhelmed. I am bound and determined to do this.. I feel if I can study His word and really get into that relationship, He will lead me in other aspects of my life, homework, family, work, etc. Anyway, Praying today for strength to accomplish the tasks I have set before me.

SUCCESS

2007-01-24T14:52:00.000-06:00

Yeah, as for today I have success. Success in Little Miss One year old sleeping in her own bed for 4 nights ALL NIght. So far I only had that one miserable night of crying. I thought she would sleep next to me in her play pen better than by herself; however, it seems as though she LOVES her bed. Now when she is ready to wake up, she is READY. NO doubt, but while she is tired she wants in her bed! Yeah for her! I know God must be listening to my small Prayers about getting some sleep. WE are working on finding a new bedroom suit for my four year old and she is getting to pick everything out. So come March, she we will be working on her going to sleep in her own room. I have also succeeded this week with no crying.... Praise God. Last night J was gone to a b-ball game and come 8:30 I told Big Miss Priss I was going to rock the baby and she could lay on the floor beside me or stay in the living room and watch tv. She chose to lay on the floor, I layed little bit down at around 845 and then we went to lay down in the big bed. I told her fifteen minutes of tv and lights out. I turned those lights off and she was asleep in five minutes. I got one hour of time to myself and instead of doing what I should have and cleaned, worked on homework, or Bible reading, I chose to call a VERY DEAR friend of mine whom I havent talked to in several months and we talked for an hour. I was so glad I did. God Blessed me last night and I say to him today.... THANK YOU!!!! My Prayer is today that things will continue to get better and we will get some sort of evening schedule! Also I have made a plan, I will be off work every wednesday to work on Homework--I have Physics and Physcology to get through before March!!! YUK BUT I have decided that I will join my friend in starting my day taking a Bible class at her Church at 9am every wednesday before I start my homework. This way I will be refreshed and calm. they just started today and I am so excited-I cant wait until next week. I was unable to attend today, because I had other appts this morning.
That was for a good cause as well, I was announcing the Crop being held for little Ashley! I know God will bless that day for her and her family. Keep her in your daily Prayers as well as our other little ones listed (Addison, Emma Grace, Rachel, and Chloe's family) I dont know them all yet but I am reading new ones everyday and saying Prayers to God for healing and comfort. Chloe Is the Angel watching over her friend Ashley now, and I Pray for her parents that God will comfort them during this time. I dont want to leave anyone out so I just lift all of those children up that I do not know about! Thank you 'God for loving me and my family today. Thank you for bringing me t Ashley's website so that I may grow closer to you through her story. In his name, Amen.

Forgiving and Seeing the Blessings

2007-01-20T11:04:00.000-06:00

Today marks my 6 year wedding anniversary. I met my husband through some mutual friends and a year later we were married. Before he came along I was not living as I should, I guess you could say Sowing my WILD Oats. it was at that time God intervened. We were friends first because we both had just gotten out of bad relationships. Then it just grew. Let me say we are VERY DIFFERENT! Everyone says opposites attract! Well we are definitely opposite. I am nervous, paranoid, and a worry wart. He is calm, never worries, and extremely laid back. As I know he is definitely meant for me, sometimes it is hard to see that. God has truly blessed me, he is a wonderful daddy and my girls adore him. Reading Trish's post on Ashley's site about beauty has made me stop and think that I need to be looking for the beauty in this marriage and not the obstacles. Today I will focus and Pray for the strength to see the little things that make me love him so much! Lord, Today I am praising you for my beautiful family. I feel like I am undeserving of all the things you have blessed me with. Please forgive me for my anger and allow me to be the wife I need to be to this man. Please forgive him and allow him to come to you for direction and guidance for our family. You have blessed us with so many things. Today, I also Pray for Ashley and ask that you dry her lungs so she can spend time with her family, I lift Rachel and Emily up to you so you can heal their lungs and allow them to feel better. Lord, I also lift Asher up to you, I Pray that you will be with him as he grows up and allow him to see the love his mother had for him while she was here on earth. Protect him and his family and give them peace. Lord, there are many other beautiful children in this world that I beg you to Bless them and give their families peace and comfort as they fight their battles. thank You Father for loving us unconditionally. In Jesus Name, Amen

Totally Insane

2007-01-19T13:14:00.000-06:00

Ok, someone please tell me who invented the book that said you should let babies cry themselves to sleep??? I am exhausted today. First let me start by saying: when Adyson was born my whole family and everyone else gave me advice of many kinds that would make her sleep in her own room. Well, contrary to their advice I wanted her with me so I would have an eye on her at all times. Now she is 4 and guess what, yep still with me!!!! Not so bad, except the 11 month old wants to be with me too. NOT GOOD ON YOUR MARRIAGE -My little one is just totally opposed to sleep! She loves to keep me up at night so I can hold and rock! As much as I love holding my baby, I have to have sleep or I cannot function in this world. My husband is a basketball official and this keeps him out late a few days during the week. So our routine this week has been eat supper, take a bath, play, and cry until daddy gets home around 11 or 12. So i received some advice, yet again, "YOU NEED TO LET THOSE BABIES CRY". Ok so my decision is to start with the little one and work my way up. Last night Ella woke up out of her playpen (in my room) around midnight. I picked her up, and after 2 nights of no sleep, decided to put her beside me. Well she rolled, and she squirmed, and then at 230 we were drinking a bottle, then at 340, I was exhausted so I just kissed her and layed her down in her baby bed, then walked out. TEars came streaming down my face as she screamed her lungs out of her throat. But it was either do this or just get out of bed and let her play and fall asleep sitting at my desk. (On top of everything, she is trying to recover from an ear infection) so I hated to do her that way when she clearly doesnt feel good. She screamed for about 30 minutes and fell asleep. I wanted to cover her up because it was cold, but didnt want to wake her so I cranked up the heater for her to stay warm, needless to say, we were left sweating. But she slept until 730. Yeah for her. I finally went to sleep around 430 and had to wake up at 7! BAD FOR ME! I want to know who invented this concept, and why is there not something else better than this. This is completely insane, well if anyone has any advice , I could sure use some encouragement to know that it is ok for her to cry. (POOR BABY) This is totally cruel! but i should not be complaining, After reading little Ashley's story everyday,I know there are parents who are going through much worse! Please remember little Ashley and all of the little ones in our blog world in your Prayers today and everyday. This is my complaint for the day.

Finding the time

2007-01-17T14:36:00.000-06:00

Ok, so i have this site set-up, still playing with all of the add-ons and getting it published; but, NOW i have to make sure I FIND the time to post. I have pulled it up so many times this week and thought to myself-"Ok what do I type today" -then decided I would come back to it later. Well today is later I suppose, I was reading different blogsites today and came across one that on the first post they were worried and didnt want to type for fear they would be boring, or would just use this to complain... then she decided it was much better to complain on her blog rather than to her husband and if she was boring as long as no one told her -it would be Ok--WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT. I love it, and my husband would adore me if I complained to someone other than him. I have experienced those same fears, but mine are more, these people don't know me, and the ones that do, don't want to read about my life-they know it. Probably too well---I am not one to keep things inside very well.....My life has been an open book! As I want to complain today, I have to think to myself, "is this really wise?" "Do I really have anything to complain about?" I have 2 healthy beautiful children, a great husband (who by the way, is so patient and worry free -it drives me insane), a job, a home, and endless opportunities. Man, what a life, as I see on other blogs there are moms who are taking care of sick or disabled little ones. It is nothing to them and I see how they just Praise God for Blessing them with such wonderful Children. How awesome it is to see Moms and Dads who Praise God for little things like the ability to eat, or to be able to kiss little fingers and toes. They have patience (which is something I lack) and they just LOVE LIFE> How I long to be that Mommy! I love my girls with everything in me, but I get so impatient and I desperatley need a consistent schedule. My worries are so small compared to what I have been reading, but they are still so much MY Worries, and if I don't get a handle on them I will surely be inpatient at some facility. I so want to see God step into my life with my SMALL problems as I see him step into the lives with the big PROBLEMS. IS this making sense at all? Or Am I just rambling oN? So this is where I am today, and I Pray for those wonderful mommies and their little Blessings, and I Pray also for my little worries to go away and for clear vision to Know just exactly what I do have.

Blessings and Changes

2007-01-12T14:41:00.000-06:00

Today is the first time I have posted on this journal. I learned about this term "blogging" from the website www.ashleysstory.org. If you have not read her story, YOU definitely should. This little girl has been a huge inspiration in my life. God used her website to get to me and so many other people in this world. I have been struggling with so many issues in my beliefs and in my Christian Faith. My mind seems to work at 100 thoughts a second. I seem to "well, this is happening because..." and the fill in the blanks seem to be negative. Why this is so, I will never know, I cant seem to reach the positive side of things. So I here is what i have come up with:
On Ashley's website there was a person who commented and left her blog site info in her posting, I simply went to that website to see what this was about and noticed she had poured out some of her thoughts, as does Trish (Ashley's mom) and so many other ladies posting on that website. I thought to myself, How awesome it must be to sit down and 'get all of those thoughts' out of your head, even without saying them out loud. And then I thought, there are so many people who are praying and saying things about our FATHER that I only wish I could feel inside.... Now, I am email queen, everything i need to say whether to friends, or even in arguments with my husband, I say them by writing them down. SO, WAHLAH, I found the perfect tool. I will write type my thoughts as if this were my hand held journal, nothing to keep up with , so i should be safe. Now it is just spreading the site so I can get insite from some of those people who have inspired me so much. I know God is working through them and I know He is wanting to reach me so now I have to let it happen, and study it as much as I can. It's hard to totally let go, but i am trying, its hard to know, is HE listening, but I am getting there. So this can be a good starting point. I have been so Blessed in the last 6 years that it is hard not to look for the ball to drop at any time. Wednesday was Adyson's (oldest child) 4 year old birthday. Four years ago God blessed me with the beautiful baby girl that I have dreamed of since I was 15 years old. She is gorgeous and sweet, and has a little stubborness of mine that can be a little trying sometimes. How can I not find the positive side of that. We have been sick, so tonight we are celebrating with family and on the 27th we will be celebrating with 12 of her friends. What fun, have your birthday spread out over a whole month, (i love it that way). She is such a wonderful addition to my life that I am so thankful to God in Heaven for allowing me the opportunity to be her mom and giving me a Wonderful husband by my side to raise her with. Thank you God for loving me today and for loving me always. I will be putting my favorite Bible verses as daily verses once I figure out how this "blog" world works. Thank you to anyone who reads and can give me any insight.